Blog with love, irah.

2010-01-07T19:35:00.001+08:00

HIATUS.

MORE UPDATE AT MY FACEBOOK.

2010-01-04T15:23:00.001+08:00

Our bundle of joy was born on 19 December 2009 at 06.59pm, NUH. 9 months of being pregnant with terrible morning sickness, backache, headache, vomiting, fatigue, mood swings, leg cramps, constipation, bloatedness and heart burn. 9 hours of labour pain went through but it was all worth it when we heard the cry of hers. Welcome to the world, Ashira Dhaniyah Bte Muhmmad Azim.

Ashira= wealthy.
Dhaniyah = the increase, the quality, gentle.

2009-12-12T10:01:00.000+08:00

I’m still here. Not yet in labour. Hubby gets his off and accompanied me for the check-up on 10 December. My appointment was at 10am but the usual Hubby has difficulty waking up early. With the peak hours, we hailed a cab. Usually we will take the MRT and shuttle bus to NUH. The journey from Admiralty to NUH is far ok! During the check-up, my blood pressure was taken, my lab result indicates that I do not have any infection but my blood count is low. The gynae insist for me to eat lots of red meat and veggies till my delivery. So, we have book the delivery and ward room. Luckily, the cost of delivery and ward charges can be used under my medisave and be reimburse back. We have our lunch at NUH canteen before making way to Jurong East area and IMM. I actually shop again for baby items! I think I can’t resist seeing baby items. Too cute! And yesterday, my manager gave me 5 baby bodysuits and it’s pretty in pink! Not to forget, a box of toiletries for Christmas gift, in pink too! Just what I need for my hospital bag. Super love it.

Baby bag and hospital bag has been packed, at last! So no more worries, just in case I might go into labour early. Our room has been neatly organized with the help of my mum in-law. Only left with few baby items to buy and also booking of nenek urut. This coming Monday, the new girl that is replacing me while I’m on maternity leave will be coming in and I have lots of things to teach her. I’ll be dropping by my parents place later after work. Missing them truckloads.

2009-12-09T16:14:00.001+08:00

First and foremost, I had my check-up on 04 December during my 34 weeks. I was a bit anxious than usual as I badly want to know the weight of my baby. Hubby did not accompany me for the last scan as he was ORD on that day. He was more anxious to take his pink IC back rather to accompany me! So, mum in-law went inside the ultra scan room together with me. Everything was perfectly fine. The much awaited news is that my baby has gained weight up to 2kg. The previous scan was done on 17 November and she weight around 1.6kg. Syukur alhamdullilah. At least she gained weight but I’m the one who lose weight. From 49kg to 47kg, that is.

Usually after the ultra scan, I have to see the gynae at Clinic G, NUH. By the time my ultra scan was done, Hubby was already back. So, he accompanied me inside and told the gynae that I’ve been having a lot of white discharge. The gynae did a VE (vagina examination) on me and was told that I have to come back on 10 December (which is tmr!). If the result indicates good news meaning, there’s no infection and not water bag break a bit by bit, then I’m save. If there’s infection and the white discharge is included together with water bag, then I will have to go for force labour. Ouch! Hopefully, it will be good news for me tomorrow. I DO NOT WANT to be force into labour. Let it be natural, insya-allah. But no matter what, I’ve to prepare for the worst. Tonight willl be packing my hospital bag, just in case I’m going into labour tomorrow.

2009-12-02T16:12:00.001+08:00

Suddenly I feel that there are so many things to do yet so little time! Yesterday, Hubby helped me to pack my stuffs from my living hall cupboard and it already took up space of 5 boxes! This have not yet include of my clothes and footwear. Not to mention, Hubby’s stuffs too. I didn’t knew that packing is so tiring that this morning when I wake up, I still felt tired and had difficulty to wake up! Later on right after work, Hubby will collect again some boxes nearby the provision shops and by today, we MUST packed our stuffs as tomorrow we will be sleeping over at his place and Friday I’m on No Pay Leave to run some errands. If you have read my previous entry, you will know what is happening on Friday. Come Saturday morning, together with my dad in-law we will do the shifting of boxes. Luckily, dad in-law was kind enough to rent a lorry and this make shifting more easily. But it’s not only because of us, he rent a lorry. Sunday will be Kak Nur Engagement Day and dad in-law need to pick up Mak Busu (from KL) and Mak Andak (from Penang) with their family members when they arrive in Singapore on Saturday. We will gotong-royong to prepare for the event on Sunday. What’s more it’s convenient to travel with vehicle. The event will take place at Sengkang and going to and fro from Woodlands is no big joke ok! Mind you, with my big bulging tummy, traveling far is what I dislike the most.

The work will not stop there. We still have to unpack the boxes! I can imagine how our room will look like with full of boxes and baby items! As what Hubby mention, our room is already like a store room! With Mak Busu and Mak Andak families staying over at our place this weekend, it will be more chaotic! But no matter what, I still have to do the unpacking slowly and bit by bit and also with the help of my mum in-law of course!

As I’m typing this entry, I can foresee myself waking up more earlier than before to go work starting this Monday. It’s a bit far than usual as my place at Lakeside is near to Jurong East where my company transport is located. I will definitely miss my cat (how I wish I can bring her along!), my bed, my computer & my family members. It will be a totally new experience staying permanently with in-laws. I guess I can only blog, check my email, facebook & etc when I’m at work as there’s no computer at his place. Bummer!

Next update will be on my check-up this Friday! Hopefully, there’s good news to share from my gynae. Just hold on, yeah.

2009-12-01T15:09:00.001+08:00

As usual, I’ve been neglecting this blog of mine for a long period of time due to laziness. Many events had happened during my MIA. The latest event is Dinah’s brother wedding. The wedding was grand and the food was delicious! I could have taken 2-3 rounds of it but I’m easily bloated now days. What do you expect? I’m 34 weeks pregnant already. Did some catching up with my babes Dinah & Jaz. It’s been a while since we saw each other. Pictures are up at my facebook. Do add me at nadirah-@hotmail.com if you want to view. I’m just too lazy to upload here. To my friends, I’ve changed my cell phone number too. Do pm me via e-mail or etc. You know the drill.

Now for the latest update of my pregnancy. Had my details scan and check up on 17 November at NUH. Everything is normal for the baby except that her current weight is only 1.6kg at 32 weeks. I was dumbfounded. How can that be when I eat a lot? Not only that, I eat nutritious food and take my medication regularly. It’s considered small for a baby during her 32 weeks. So, my gynae gave me another medication and hopefully by the time I give birth, the baby will weigh around 2kg, insya-allah. The baby head is already ‘below’ and that means I can give birth normal. Not only that, I can give birth anytime starting on 24 December although my EDD is on 14 January 2010. The baby name had been changed to Baby ‘A.’ Let that be a secret for now till her arrival, insya-allah.

For the baby items, 90% of it had been bought. This Friday Hubby will be buying some more baby items. What brand is good for milk and pampers? We have yet to find out. Our room at my in-laws place is in such a mess with baby items such as strollers, cot, toys, foam mat, baby’s shelf & etc! Our items have not been brought in yet from my house! Last week, there was a sale at Kaki Bukit for baby stuffs and bought mostly of the items. Baby bag had been packed except for my hospital bag. The thing is Hubby & I have yet to pack our stuffs from my house to shift to my in-laws place on 5 December as dad in-law rent a lorry. December will be such a busy month for us with Hubby’s ORD on 4 December, my last check-up & scan on 4 December, packing of our stuffs, attending weddings and engagement ceremonies, teaching the new girl of my job duties during my maternity leave, Hubby still finding for a job under company and not on contract based and Jurong Town Primary School’s gathering on 19 December and still survery-ing for nenek/mak cik urut. Such a busy month! To Nana Chica & Mrs Sayang, let’s countdown together on who will give birth first. ;p

2009-10-27T12:19:00.001+08:00

Oh well, this blog is already dusty. I’m not so active in blogger due to facebook. Everything is updated through facebook especially pictures. So, if you do have facebook account, add me up at nadirah-@hotmail.com

Let’s talk about my pregnancy right now. I’m going to be 28 weeks by next week. 28 weeks is equivalent to 7 months, if you do not know. I can already feel the baby moves and kick when I’m in my 6 months. Whenever the baby kick and moves, I will quickly grab Hubby’s hand to feel it. The feeling is indescribable when I feel my own baby inside my tummy. I can feel it’s getting heavier day by day. Sitting or standing for too long is not a pleasure anymore. What’s more, occasionally I have leg cramps and it usually happen at night. I would practically wake up from my sleep and shout. LOL! Hubby has to massage my leg every time it happens. My favourite past time right now is going to toilet every few minutes, just to empty my bladder although it’s teeny weeny a bit. Just can’t believe that I have UTI. I don’t really have a big appetite like before. I will feel full and bloated even after a small meal. Constipation is what I’m always going through. Totally hate it! It makes my tummy in so much pain. You see, being pregnant is totally not easy! Now, I truly understand how mothers out there being pregnant for the whole 9 months.

Hubby & I have been buying books & searching on the net for Islamic baby names. The first name is already confirmed and we are still searching for another name just in case the first name is ‘heavy’ for the baby. Let’s just call her ‘Baby E’ . As for the preparation for Baby E stuffs, we still have not purchase anything yet except for my mum-in law as she’s more excited than myself. LOL. It’s still considered early to purchase baby stuffs. Right now, I’m still considering whether to have a 3D/4D scan when I’m in my 8 months, insya-allah. It’s for remembrance sake although the fee is expensive. Checked the price at NUH and it is arund $180+. The only picture I have for Baby E is when she’s 5 months plus. I badly want to see her as 3D/4D scan is clearer than the normal scan. I shall discuss this with the Hubby. So, my next scan will be on 17 November 2009, Tuesday. I shall make use of Hubby’s CSC card before his ORD which is on 04 December 2009. After 04 December 09, check-up & scan will not be free anymore. We have to pay on our own. Bummer! But it’s just 1 more month plus to go for Hubby’s ORD and after which hopefully he will get a stable job, insya-allah.

Mid week or last week of December 09, I will be staying permanently with my in-laws as my mum-law will take care of me & the baby during my confinement period. It’s better to stay there as there are more advantages than staying at my place. The only disadvantage is that it is far from my workplace and there’s no computer at Hubby’s place. Meaning, I have to purchase a laptop or notebook. Traveling wise would be no problem for me. After all, there’s public transport. It’s just that I have to wake up and hour earlier.

I’m left with 2 more months before my delivery, insya-allah. I’ve been thinking a lot regarding labour. You see, I have low threshold of pain. Even the slightest pain, I can cry. I’ve been googling & you-tubing on labour process. It sure makes me scared and paranoid! Some said it’s better not to take epidural. Well some said, go for epidural as it soothes the pain! No matter how scared I am, I will still have to go through labour. All that matters for me now is that I will go through a smooth delivery and my baby is safely born, insya-allah. Nothing else matters! Pray for me, yeah.

2009-09-17T12:43:00.003+08:00

I felt that this year Hari Raya will be celebrated ala kadar. Not as grand as the past few years. But the most important thing I’ll get to celebrate with my family and in-laws. Spring cleaning at home is barely done. I can’t force myself to be active doing the spring cleaning as last time since I’m pregnant. Mostly of the spring cleaning will be done by my irritating sister. I can only help that does not require that much energy such as putting the crackers, biscuits & etc into tupperware. That part will be my favourite part because I will pop it into my mouth too. LOL. Maybe my parents will do last minute spring cleaning on Saturday itself. At the moment, I’m very pissed off as I still can’t find my handphone cable wire to upload pics. And Hari Raya is approaching. Most of the bloggers whom I read from their blog, did something to their hair, manicure & pedicure & etc. I wish I can do that too but sadly I can’t. But I got new flats (not heels!), baju kurung, clutch, make-up, earrings. It’s enough already for me since Hubby & mum bought some of it for me. I did my part too by buying some things for Hubby also. This year, Hubby & I will be in purple & black.

Later after work will sleep over at in-laws place. Just one night will do.I need to pass them the chocolate biscuits that I’ve ordered. Sadly, this year I did not make any biscuits. Since parents are off on Saturday, they will do last minute spring cleaning and plan to go Geylang after that. Dad in-law also rent lorry till Hari Raya. Just see how the plan goes. My family is so last minute for the preparation of Hari Raya since they are busy working & can’t get off days. Hubby & I have already plan on which days to celebrate equally with our own families. So more update will be done after Hari Raya, I’m supposed.

Oh yes, I guess some of my friends have already known the gender of my baby. It’s truly unexpected. I’m pregnant with a baby GIRL! What I’m going through is totally opposite of being pregnant to a baby girl. I do not love to dress up, putting up a make-up is a hassle for me, I’m not glowing as what others will say, I’m super lazy, I kept dreaming of baby boy. But now see, it’s a baby girl. Hubby wants a baby boy actually but it doesn’t matter now. The most important thing is that the baby is perfectly fine, healthy & normal. Insya-allah. Mum in-law is the only person who guesses correctly that I’m pregnant with a baby girl. As for the rest of my family & in-laws members are definitely wrong. As for the poll results, mostly guess it's a boy too. The best part for baby girl is that more choices of clothes to dress her up & also choosing name for her.

I'm looking forward to spend Hari Raya with my loved ones. This year it will be a happy one and I shall banish all the bitter memories of last year's. To all Muslim, Selamat Hari Raya. Maaf zahir dan batin.

2009-09-10T12:31:00.004+08:00

I love my last weekend cause it was well spent with my loved ones. Since Saturday on 29/08/09, I was not working, I woke up in the afternoon and take my own sweet time to get ready to go Baby Fair at Taka. Hubby & I just take a look and I was tempted to buy baby stuffs cause practically it was on sale! But since my pregnancy is still early, we just survey here and there. Walked around ION which we find boring and made way to Geylang to meet the in-laws. After searching high and low for a decent baju kurung (forget kebaya!), I’ve finally bought it. Geylang was packed with human traffic and it was hot & humid especially inside the Bazar. Had my cravings for ayam percik, ramly burger & air katira. I had a great time, chatting, laughing, bargaining with a shop owner and soaking up the festive atmosphere. After several hours of walking, we took cab home. Too tired to take the train.

On Sunday, we accompanied mum to Causeway Point to get her N80 phone fix since it’s spoilt but decided to upgrade her line to E63. Member happy seh! Drop by bazaar to buy some food and air katira. I will never get sick & tired drinking katira. It’s my favourite drink during ramadhan.

On the other hand, I’m in my 5 months and 1 week pregnancy now which is 21 weeks. It sure felt fast. I can already feel the baby kicking. I urinate more often and can feel my tummy become heavier. I eat a lot and non-stop. Crave for this and that. I’ve yet to check my weight. Suddenly, I feel afraid to look at weighing scale. This is only the fasting month. There will be lots of delicious food & delicacies serve on Hari Raya. Rendang, Ayam Masak Merah, Sayur Lodeh, Kuah Kacang & etc. I’m sure to put on weight. Walking a distance can make me pant and tired easily now.

On 01/09/09, I nearly fainted while waiting for my work transport. Suddenly I felt dizzy and breathless. The bus came so maybe I thought that after sitting inside the bus, I will be ok. But no, I was still feeling dizzy & want to vomit. Upon reaching work, I vomited and told my manager that I need to go hospital. Met Hubby at NUH. My blood was taken for test. I have two check up on me which is a gynae and a doctor. My baby is perfectly fine, kicking & jumping non-stop. I have to wait nearly 2 hours for the blood test report to come out. My red blood cells are low while my white blood cells are high. 14% higher to be precise. Not only that, I have low blood pressure thus I always felt dizzy and want to faint. I was given 5 days mc to rest. Just when I thought that I want to come back to work on the next 2 days, I was down with high fever & running nose. Went to NUH again on 02/09/09. Took the H1N1 test as the doctor suspected that I might be infected but thank god I was not. Given medicine and different MC to rest. Hubby suggested to stay over at his mum’s place so that my mum in-law can take care of me. Few days later, Hubby met with accident. Right now, he jalan a bit tempang. Next few weeks will be his check up at NUH. Doctor suspected that his ligament tear. :( Yesterday, he was being the sweetest. I was having a bad cough that I can barely have a good night sleep. He actually went out to Boon Lay with his tempang leg to queue for Boon Lay Nasi Lemak and also bought cough syrup & strepsils for me.

Supposed to have my check-up on 11/09/09 for my scan and I can’t postpone it anymore as I’m in my 5 months plus already. But then one of my colleagues took leave on that day and NUH tried to squeeze in my schedule on 08/09/09. So yes, I’ve known my baby gender. So you readers can actually guess the gender of my baby by doing the poll below. It’s just for fun. The gynae was doing the scan when we saw my baby was kicking, moving, yawning & also eating. My baby was actually chewing on something. Actually, I ate black pepper chicken pau & ribena for breakfast. LOL. And there will be change of plan. I will give birth in NUH since they have all my medical records.

As for now, my annual leave is left with pathethic 1 day due to doctor appointment and etc. So that means, for the next check up, will be considered as no pay leave. -.-"

Ria has been playing Hari Raya songs and it sure made me more excited for the upcoming festive. I’ll be going to Geylang again for last round of shopping this Saturday with my uncle, cousin & my family. Still need to buy lots of stuffs. Hopefully my weekend will be a splendid one. Not to forget, spring cleaning need to be done ASAP! And malam raya go geylang again perhaps? Dad in-law want to rent lorry or car for final shopping.

2009-09-08T21:51:00.001+08:00

2009-08-28T12:18:00.004+08:00

It is only the 7th day of fasting but I have to crack my brain on what to prepare for sahur & breaking fast for the Hubby as he’s very particular on food. He does not eat fish & veggies. The only food must have on the table is chicken. He still prefers rice to noodles, pasta & etc. I’m running out of ideas on what to prepare for him. Tsk!

On a lighter note, I totally enjoy my last weekend at my in-laws place. I have my air katira, dendeng & ayam percik. Good food = happy me! This weekend will be heading to Geylang Bazar, hopefully. Oh please, let my pay be in by Saturday.

Suddenly my schedule is tight with a lot of events! Jaz Birthday Party, Bloggers Outing, Primary School outing, Family & In-laws outing. Weekend is the only time to do spring cleaning but that’s when all the events are happening. Outing = money spend. Then, I saw this one gorgeous dress from Studiofrost. Thought of buying but then the money I need to spend on food for sahur & breaking fast and not to forget hari raya. Wah, like that I can go bankrupt already!

Few days back, Hubby and I went to Jurong West Bazar to buy food for breaking fast. Sadly, air katira was sold out. Maybe we came late around 6.30pm. The stalls were not that much compared to last year. My favourite Nasi Ambeng stall was also not there. I prefer Woodlands Bazar as there are lots of food & drink stalls.

I feel like doing something to my hair. It looks so lifeless after I’ve rebonded it 2 years back I think. So dry like a twig lah! I like it to be long, wavy and jet black. Black is the sex yo! But then, Hubby said no need and it’s better to do it after giving birth. I hate to see myself in the mirror. People said during pregnancy, you will intend to glow. But where got glow?! Tummy is big, fine. Can’t fit into my size 26 skinny jeans and size xs clothes, fine. Pimple popping on my face, not fine. Hair is dry like a twig, not fine. Out of sudden, hate to make-up & dress up, not fine. :(

I just get to know that there's a Baby Fair @ Taka and I really want to go! What's more been ages since I've step into town. Then, can jalan-jalan at ION too....

Reply to taggers:

Julii: Haiya. No problem. Re-link done!

Hid: Haha! Next time tag lar! I'm excited too for myself but at the same time worry. Oh yes, feels like yesterday in JTPS. Thank god for facebook! Saw lots of familiar faces from JTPS!

Elyani: Hello! Going to be 5 months, insya allah. Excited jugak nie nak tahu the gender of my baby.

Qysha: LOL! How to take pics when I don't like to dress up? So not nice lar.

2009-08-22T11:18:00.005+08:00

Mama & me.

In-laws.

Above are old pics before I'm pregnant. Yes, I know my blog is boring without latest pictures. But I don’t know where I’ve put my cable wire to upload pics. I shall do spring cleaning soon since for Hari Raya and maybe I can find my cable wire. I shall take a lot of pictures during my pregnancy as a remembrance but I don’t think I’ve taken any pics of myself lately. I just hate to see myself in the mirror because I really felt that it’s not me. Before, I love to dress up and put on make-up. But now, pure lazy! I’m still yet to feel my baby to kick. I just want to feel it. I really want to know the gender of my baby. I’ve dreamt that I’ve given birth to a baby girl. While Ibu dreamt that it was a baby boy. But no matter what, as long the baby is healthy, Hubby & I are fine whether it’s a girl or a boy. And oh, there’s a kitten in my office. Cute little dark brown kitten. Been thinking of giving her name but still not sure yet. It just remind me of my cat at home, Kecik, when she’s still a kitten. Awww, so cute.

Today marks the starting of fasting month. I stay over the weekend at my in-laws place. Ibu cooked chicken dumpling with prawn soup and fried chicken for sahur. I thought of helping Ibu to cook at 3am when she’s preparing the dishes but I overslept. What’s new right? I’m really not a morning person. Ibu have the habit to cook the dishes at 3am as to her the dishes will be hot and fresh.

This year will be totally different from the past 4 years as Hubby and I get to sahur, break fast and celebrate Hari Raya (insya-allah) as husband and wife. What’s more being pregnant during the month of Ramadhan is different. Some people said that during pregnancy, there’s no need to fast and some will say if there’s no health problem at all, why not give it a try. To be truthful, I did not fast today. Hubby & Ibu don’t allow me to fast at all. But I really feel like fasting. :(

During this fasting month, one of my wish is to sahur & break fast together with my family and also with my in-laws. Maybe to sahur & break fast with my family is impossible. Brother is always with his friends while dad is busy with his stall. One month from today will be Hari Raya. I felt that time passed by really fast. Don’t you think so? I really can’t wait to pop by Geylang to smell the atmosphere of Hari Raya. Buying of clothes, ~~heels~~ flats, kuih-muih, this & that and also spring cleaning the whole house. Best sangat! But that’s when all the mats and minahs from every nook and cranny from around Singapore congregate at Bazaar Geylang. No offence yeah.

So this month pay will have to be put aside for preparation of Hari Raya. What’s more, if Hari Raya falls on 22 September, my pay will only be in by the end of the month. So I’m left with no choice for this month pay to be put aside more. To all Muslims, happy fasting!

2009-08-16T12:46:00.002+08:00

My family members are falling sick one by one since yesterday. Started from grandparents, youngest sister, mum and brother. It's weird that ever since Hubby found a black grasshopper in front of my door step few days ago at midnight when he got back home. Thank god that Hubby, dad & I are fine though. I'm not trying to be superstitious but apparently ever since then, the sickness came.

I'm waiting for Hubby to come back home in while. I've been watching make-up & hair tutorial on you tube to get inspiration for Hari Raya. Ramadhan is coming real soon and I'm anticipating for it. I'm not so sure if I can fast during pregnancy. But if I can, insya-allah. This year Hari Raya will not be the same as the past few years as I did not tailor any clothes for Hubby & I. With my growing tummy, I plan to buy whatever nice clothes at geylang for Hari Raya. This time round, I cannot be choosy. Luckily, Hubby does not mind also. We will celebrate Hari Raya within our budget. More important, we do not want to overspend.

I'm up for more you tube-ing then....

2009-08-15T21:02:00.003+08:00

I'm so free right now that I feel like updating my blog but I can't seem to find my cell phone cable wire to upload the pics. I've just deleted my friendster account due to Hubby request. Fine, I still have my facebook account. Oh well, I got nothing else to update cause my mind is in blank right now.

Just an update on my pregnancy, I'm in my 2nd trimester that is 4 months & 1 weeks. I'm glad that my appetite is growing. Far better than my 1st trimester where I always vomit and have a terrible headache. But I have constipation and it makes my stomach bloated. Feels so uncomfortable but a secondary school of mine recommend me to drink Yakult and it really works! I'm a big fan of Yakult eversince then.

Had my last ultra scan at NUH on National Day. I could clearly see the spine, the head, the body. The gynae tried to detect the gender of the baby but it was so difficult as it was kicking and jumping non-stop. What an active baby! I guess the gender of my baby can only be known on my next check up at KKH on 02 September when I'm in my 5 months. Why the sudden transfer to KKH as I'm going to stay with my in-laws at Woodlands after giving birth. It's near to my in-laws place anyway.

Hubby will be back home tomorrow since army is having running marathon. It feels boring without him but when he's with me, we will argue sometimes. Weird but it's true. Missing him so badly right now.

Reply to tags:

Manjer: No problem babe.

Waney: Updated but no pics for the moment. Will re-link you back.

Iva: Thanks for linking me. Will link you also.

Julii: Hello babe!

Nana: Hello! I also have a strong feeling it's a boy cause I'm so lazy to dress up and been months since I've put on make-up. Your Eldora so cute! I love baby girls cause can dress them up. You take care too and I will link you.

Qysha: Congrats babe on your engagement! So happy for you, babe.

Matilda: No choice. Have to endure when pregnant. Anyway, read your blog regarding your engagement eh? If true, congrats girl!

Paula: Thanks sweets!

Adah: I'm fine right now. Thanks babe.

Iva: Will link you soon babe.

Zura: He looks like you lar babe. Yes, I'm enjoying my pregnancy minus the morning sickness, terrible headache, back pain & etc.

Mas: Thanks babe. Yes, I'm bless to have my family, in-laws & hubby with me. Anyway, I did not went to Studiofrost Fashion Festival II cause it's far lar. LOL!

Berry: Suker eh kau? LOL! I'm happy too lar.

Nadiarina: Thanks sweets!

2009-07-21T12:05:00.005+08:00

LIKE SERIOUSLY, I MUST STOP BEING FORGETFUL & GIVE ALL MY BEST, MY HEART, MY SOUL & MY EVERYTHING FOR WORK! RIGHT!

On another note, it’s our 5th Month Wedding Anniversary today.
Hubby was hinting to me "Dear, today is a very special day".
In my mind, I was counting the number of months we have gotten married.

I love him so deeply, I love him so much, I love the sound of his voice.
And the way that we touch. I love his warm smile.

And his kind, thoughtful way.The joy that he bringt to my life every day.

I love him today as I have from the start.

And I'll love him forever with all of my heart.

Ahhhhh, we just love being married. ;p

2009-07-18T18:41:00.008+08:00

Hello readers! I’m back for an update. Apologies for missing in action due to some reasons. Let’s get started for an update!

Whyra’s 1st Birthday Party

As for my 21st birthday on 06 June, I finally bought Samsung Pixxon in pink. Say hello to my gorgeous pink touch screen handphone and bid goodbye to my 2 year old Nokia 6233. Birthday celebration was simple with the in-laws. Mum in-law cooked my favourite Mee Soto along with Corn Sweet drinks.

That’s not the only gift for my birthday. The best birthday gift ever is that I’m PREGNANT! Yes, three month plus pregnant right now. Syukur Alhamdulillah. In the beginning, I have a very strong feeling that I was pregnant. What’s more, my period was 2 days late. I’ve decided to buy the pregnancy kit on 11 May to really ensure that I was pregnant. It was positive! Happiness engulfed us to see the positive sign. 2 days later, I took half day leave for a checkup at Jurong Polyclinic. I took the usual pregnancy test and request for refer to National University Hospital for a more proper and detail check-up. 22 May was my ultra scan. The heartbeat was detected. Although the featus was small, hubby & I can see it was moving.

Ever since I was pregnant, Hubby really take good care of me. Not even a single housework was allowed for me to do. If Mum did not cook on that particular day, he will cook for me. He makes sure that I eat my folic acid every morning. Whenever I slept over at my in-laws place every weekend, my mum in-law will prepare dishes for me to eat. He always remind me to walk slowly, not to over stress when doing work, not to carry heavy stuffs, not to wear tight clothes, not to wear heels, not to see unsightly pictures/videos. When I was hungry in the middle of the night, he will wake up and cook a simple dish for me although I know he’s very tired from work. He won’t complain if my headache, vomit and backache act up anytime. He will massage my head and back to soothe the pain. Every little detail he will take care. I do not have a weird craving like other pregnant ladies in the beginning. But he craves for it every now and then. LOL!

During my 5 weeks of pregnancy, I have a terrible backache. I can’t sit or stand for too long. Same goes when I’m sleeping. I’ll sleep with different kinds of sleeping position so that I won’t feel the back pain. Most of the time, I’m always hungry. I tried to limit my food intake in the beginning because I have constipation for few days. My tummy will feel so bloated that at times I force to vomit out what I’ve eaten. I know, it’s bad for the baby but I just can’t help it. I tried to eat more veggies (I hate the most but I have no choice to eat!) & fruits and it really works.

Morning sickness is terrible when I was 6 to 10 weeks pregnant. It’s so called morning-afternoon-night sickness. Whatever I eat or drink, I will vomit. I do not have appetite to eat or drink. All I can eat is sweets. Even the smell of some dishes will make me want to puke. What’s more, I work office hours and I tried very hard to control it. Luckily, my work does not require me to move that much. Not only that, I’m easily tired and tend to sleep all day long. Once I reached home right after work, I will do the necessary things and crawled up on my bed to sleep. Same goes on weekend when I tend to sleep the most. It’s really not me. I love to go out during the weekend but this time round, I prefer to sleep. Even going to the shop under my block, I will feel lazy. Weird but it’s true. I’m also lazy to dress up & even putting on make-up is a chore for me. Not to forget, I can’t stand the smell of my hubby. Hubby has to face another side of the bed when we are sleeping. Poor hubby! Up till now, I’ve still have not gain any weight. It’s still 43kg. This must be due to the non-stop vomiting, I guess.

11 weeks morning sickness was not that bad. Only that I have difficulty in burping and made me difficult to breathe properly. I can feel the heartburn too. Backache was worse. It felt like something is stabbing my back bone. 13 weeks, my morning sickness is still there but not as bad when I was in my 6 to 10 weeks.

Pregnancy is not that smooth sailing. On 28th May, I woke up in the morning to go to work when I notice that I'm bleeding. Something must be wrong so I told Hubby and he decided to take urgent leave and off we went to NUH. Alhamdullilah, nothing happened. Just that my hormones are not that strong. I was given medical leave from 28 May till 31 May to rest. I really rest for that 3 days. On 02 July, I vomit non-stop until I vomit blood. My throat was burning and it felt so pain that hubby & I quickly rushed to hospital. I was breathless that time. I was given MC to rest.

Had my 2nd month doctor appointment at NUH on 02 June. Thank god, everything is fine. On 10 June a visit to the polyclinic to stock up on folate acid pills and also regarding my terrible headache, vomiting & heartburn. I simply can’t stand it.

More update for my second trimester when I have the time. I need a rest for now. Being pregnant is not that easy, you know.

2009-05-08T11:58:00.005+08:00

I have a lot of things to do and also some event to attend but due to some circumstances I need to cancel some of it. My workplace is having Annual BBQ later on but I will not be attending although I badly want to go. I need to rush back home and pack my bag as every weekend I’m staying over my in-laws place. Before that, I need to run some errand first. Not only that, hubby & I actually have councelling today but we postponed it to next week. Our marriage course peep, Ira & her husband will be getting solemnized tomorrow and on Sunday will be their wedding. We could not make it to both days nevertheless. Saturday will be visiting my grandmother along with my in-laws. My grandfather will be discharged today, thank god. As for Sunday, we planned to celebrate mother’s day by having dinner together with our mums.

On a side note, I need to purchase a new handphone. My current phone is giving me a lot of problems such as leaking battery due to overcharge (I know, it’s my fault!), loudspeaker can’t be heard, half of the keypads buttons have the light on while another half are not. Since my Starhub contract is expiring this coming July and Starhub had given me a $100 vouchers (it’s better than nothing, right?), I’m still deciding on these 3 handphones.

Sony Ericsson C905

Samsung Pixxon

Nokia 79

I’m a camera person. Don’t really fancy to listen music on my handphone. Anybody using any of the handphones mentioned above? I need some reviews / comments before I buy either one of it. I’m very particular when buying handphone as I want the best and won’t regret of buying it.

2009-05-05T11:49:00.001+08:00

Well, I’m so lazy to edit the previous entry. In fact, I rarely have the time to be online and surf the internet like I used to before marriage. What’s more the need to blog. A very quick update as my colleagues & I are celebrating our manager’s birthday in a while.

Yesterday was a mad rush for me & my mum especially. My grandmother had a high fever 2 days ago and her feet were so swollen in red that my mum had to rush her to the hospital by ambulance. Mum was busy with the registration when she received a call from my younger sister at home saying that grandfather fell down on the floor and was shivering in cold sweat. Not only that, he actually pee inside his pants and could not remember a single thing. My younger sister was alone at that point of time and could not carry him alone. Luckily, my brother went back home in time. My mum left the hospital and quickly cab back home. I took a cab too right after work and grandfather was being stubborn as he does not want any of us (girls) to clean him up. My brother had left earlier due to some circumstances and hubby was the last choice. Hubby cleaned him up with the help of my mum and cab to our nearest family doctor. At first, the doctor had given him an anti-bacterial injection but after grandfather showed the doctor his leg was infected just like grandmother, the doctor advised us to send him to the hospital right away. True enough, grandfather was admitted to the same hospital as grandmother. Both of them had high fever and same leg infection. By time we got back home, it was almost 1am.

This morning when hubby & I heard our alarm clock rang, we kept pressing the snooze as we were too tired to wake up. Hubby had no choice but to take cab to camp as he was late. So our daily routine right after work will be heading to none other than Alexandra Hospital till both of them are discharged.

2009-05-03T15:00:00.038+08:00

Intan & Noi Wedding

Sent The In-laws To The Airport (24 April 09, Friday)

Farah Diana’s Younger Sister Wedding (19 April 09, Sunday)

Abang Lili Pre-Wedding (13 & 14 March 09, Friday & Saturday)
Overnight (rewang) at Bedok on Saturday till sunday. It was Abang Lili’s marriage. That was the very first time, I experienced rewang under the blk together with the in-laws & also the relatives. I got the chance to follow to the bride side at boon keng. Didn’t took much pics as my battery went dead after that. Monday was back to work for me.

Cousin’s Wedding at Johor (01 March 09, Sunday)
A trip to Johor Bahru with my family without my brother for my cousin wedding, Nur Hafiza. Well, not much pictures taken due to the scorching hot weather in the afternoon. It was so damn hot that I was perspiring like hell. Secondly, the place was too packed with people. We even had to eat inside her house, not at the tentage. I was looking forward to shop at City Square but due to time limit we rushed back to Larkin and took cab all the way to Taman Jurong. A simple ‘hot’ day outing with my family.

Pre-Wedding (19 Feb 09, Thursday)
Had my henna appointment at 3pm. It took Rani 2 hours to complete my henna. My mum did it too for fun while my sis was out at hair saloon for rebonding. Shariman came along with his friend, Sophie, to decorate the wedding room. Sophie found out that her bf is actually my sec sch friend, Huzairy. What a small world after all. I gave Shariman a top & ring for the dowry gifts decoration at last minute. They took almost half a day to decorate the room and the theme I given to them was ‘Romantic White’. It was beautifully gorgeous deco! What’s more, the room was filled with Body Shop candle in strawberry flavour. I was really satisfied with Shariman’s creation. Farah & Diana catering service began to come to decorate the dais & putting up the tent, toilet & etc. I can’t stand still at home since I was so eager to take a look and I actually did go under my blk, still with my henna on!

Pre-Wedding (20 Feb 09, Friday)
I woke up in the afternoon since I slept quite late last night. Did last minute spring cleaning at home and take a look under the blk. It was so girly and what’s more, it’s in pink & black. At that point of time when the dais & deco was fully done, I got a bit excited. Shariman & Sophie came over to do last minute touch up here & there for the room deco & solemnization corner. My dowry gifts to the guy side came and that’s when some of the glasses for bunga rampai broke. Bit by bit some of the items for the wedding came. At night, some of my parent’s collegues and friends came. The menu for Friday night was the usual Bone Steak & Nasi Ayam Penyet (cooked by my dad). Shariman & I even went under the blk at midnight to eat. Reenz came to send the wedding outfits to my side first before making move to Azim side to decorate the wedding car. Trust me, I did not have a good night sleep cause I was feeling a bit tensed up and I could only slept around 2am. Shariman sleptover at my house since he will be my so called ‘orang kuat’ on my big day.

Our Wedding Outfit’s Fitting (18 Feb 09, Wednesday)
Basically, I visited bf at CDC so that he can take home leave as we have a fitting at Reenz Bridal. It was a very hot day & the environment at CDC was humid. I pitied bf as he was not fully recovered from his rashes and fever so I called a cab back to my home first to rest. After which cab again to Reenz Bridal. It was more to slack session with Reenz and Shariman who joined us later. We had packed away dinner from Al-Azhar. Bf went back to CDC while I headed home.

And during that week, mum joined us to choose our wedding outfits. I treated them to lunch at Al Azhar.

Hubby’s Cousin, Ayid Engagement (08 February 09, Sunday)
Argued with the bf cause both of us woke up late for his nephew’s engagement. By the time we got ready, meet and reached his aunt’s house, it was nearly 4pm. We stayed till the event was over to help out.

Dinner & Dance for Utracon (06 February 09, Friday)
It was our D&D at Grand Copthorne. Being the committee member for 2 years straight, members have privileges to knock off early at 2pm. My colleagues, Nura, Kartika, me showered and dolled ourselves up as we got the complimentary room while the committee guys are busy loading and unloading the lucky draw gifts. Geraldine, Kartika, Nura & me had tea sessions for the committee members after we are done dolling up. Kartika & I was in-charge of the reception, Nura & Jonas was busy at their pre-event games stall, and Allex was in-charge to mend the lucky draw gifts. Well, the event was successful and the food served was way much better than last year. Bf picked me up although he was just discharged from hospital in the afternoon. We headed to Mr Teh Tarik at paya lebar for supper and make way back to my house.

2009-04-21T12:39:00.003+08:00

I think I give up to upload the hundreds of overdue pictures. Just too lazy to blog.
I can't wait for this Friday. Will be sending my in-laws family to the airport and make way down to Tampines to see the new mall. A little bit of shopping with the hubby and the home is ours!

2009-04-20T12:40:00.003+08:00

I just don't know what to say.
But baby, I'm so sorry from the bottom of my heart.
You made me do it.
But still, I'm so sorry.
You know how much you mean the whole world to me and
I love you so much.

2009-04-09T12:32:00.001+08:00

I hate today. I hate myself. I totally hate it. I was hoping.........

2009-04-08T12:17:00.002+08:00

Today morning I felt different upon waking up for work. Hubby cooked Ayam Kicap for my family and had packed for my lunch too. That was the first surprise for me. After showering as I’m getting ready, hubby made my favourite breakfast that is boiled egg mixed with dark soya sauce and black pepper. He sure knows to perk me up early morning to kick start the day. Thank you hubby and I appreciate it a lot.

Talking about cooking, did I mention that he’s a good cook? Well, I have tried his Sambal Prawn, Chicken in Dark Soya Sauce, Chicken Soup & etc. He really caught me by surprise when he cooked. After all these 4 years being with him, I did not know that he can cook! As for me, I tried to cook Black Pepper Chicken, Honey Fried Chicken, Fried Rice for him. That’s it, only 3 dishes I’ve tried. Overall, he likes the Black Pepper Chicken the most. I still have a lot more to learn to cook. It’s an indescribable feeling to see him eating what I’ve cooked. I think all wives would agree on this. Can you notice that the dishes that I’ve mentioned are only chicken and nothing else? My husband of mine does not eat fish but only certain type of fish. Same goes to lamb and mutton meat and also vegetables. He loves chicken and nothing else. LOL! My refrigerator are always stock up with chicken.

On a random note, I’ll be staying over my in-laws place this Friday since I have a very long weekend. I can drop by pasar malam at causeway point to satisfy my craving for ramly burger. I’m super excited for this Saturday as my marriage course friend, Intan & Noi, will be getting married. That means my PPIS marriage course peeps will be there too. Recently, I’m beginning to love to go to wedding. Reason being, I love to see wedding deco & dais. All that began in the midst of preparation for my wedding. I browsed and take a look hundreds of beautifully gorgeous deco & dais. When I have the time, I will upload my favourite deco & dais.

I can’t wait to knock off from work as hubby & I planned to catch a movie later. To my PPIS peeps, see you all this Saturday!

2009-04-05T01:42:00.005+08:00

I know that I’ve been neglecting this blog of mine. I actually have A LOT of pictures’ in the midst of preparation for our wedding; my wedding & etc That can be put aside for now. Blogging daily is near impossible nowadays Reason being; busy working, taking care and spending time with the hubby. When we are still attached, I just need to do the housework (cleaning, sweeping, mopping, doing the laundry, washing the dishes & etc), but right now it’s a different thing. I need to make his meals, iron his clothes, wake him at 5am up every morning & etc aside doing my own things. That’s the responsibility of a wife. It’s fun though, learning new things every now and then. So tell me now, how to blog everyday? Talked about preparing meals, I have a lot to LEARN the wonders of cooking. Mind you, the hubby had a hidden talent that I myself was not aware, cooking! Believe it or not, he’s a good cook better than me. Well, I’m still staying with my family during the weekdays since it’s nearby to go to work for me and as for the hubby, near his camp. Weekends will be over to my in-laws. Yes, to and fro, from Jurong to Woodlands. But hubby and me are planning to move to his house since he got his own room. Not fully decided yet though.

Finally, an update that you readers had been waiting for quite some time. An update of our wedding affairs on 21 Feb 2009, Saturday. I managed to sign up for multiply to upload the few hundreds of photos. Kindly go http://xoxoirah.multiply.com/ to view our wedding photos. Pardon me for the oh so not nice layout as I'm still not so familiar using multiply.

I would leave you readers to take a look at the pictures. Truth enough, pictures speak a thousand words.

The morning of my wedding day, all of my family members woke up late as all of us mingled with our relatives and friends under our void deck till 2am on Friday. I was in mad rush as the time stated 7.30am and Reenz (make-up artist) will come at 8am. Friday night, I was admiring the beautiful set-up deco. The elderly kept telling me not to come under the void deck as the ‘seri’ of the bride will be gone. But what I did was to come down and enjoy finger licking good of bone steak. LOL!

I still have time after my shower so I did rounds of checking under the void deck and at home. It was perfect! Voila! Everything is done! Mum insisted to at least have a light breakfast which I did not eventually as I was feeling jittery. Reenz came along with Kak Nani (his assistant). My make-up was done for almost 2 hours. But the sad part was I really can’t see the techniques of applying make-up as I was told by Reenz to rest my eyes. I stayed inside the room all morning and waited patiently for his side to come. Around 10.30am, Azim side began to come with the dowry gifts. I take a peak outside and saw Azim face was pale. I bet he was feeling nervous at that point of time. The ceremony began with prayers chanted by my uncle and the discussion both of our side had agreed on.

Azim even did not notice me sitting a few cm away from him. He was too engrossed in reciting prayers. I bet he was too scared. The Tok Kadi came at 11am sharp. That’s when everything began which he explain about marriage life. With just one breath said by Azim, I was legally his wife. At that point of time, sadness engulfed me. I really tried to control my tears of happiness. I can’t believe that I’m someone’s wife. Not just a someone’s wife. But a wife to a man whom I dearly love.

Azim put the ring on my finger and I can feel a sense of happiness inside me. He kissed my forehead and it was such a bliss moment. We looked at each other eyes and I would not forget that moment. I put the ring on his finger and photo taking session next with the relatives and friends at my house.

We quickly get ready for the 2nd outfit while the rest are making way down for refreshment. I came down first with Reenz & Kak Nani and I was simply blown away by the decoration, the wedding cupcakes, the DJ, the people who was at my reception, seeing me walking down the aisle. It was beautiful. I really felt like a princess at that moment.

The ceremony of bertandang began with kompang being played. I was quite surprised that no one actually block them coming when Kak Nani was sitting beside me, with a fan covering my face. After which, reciting of prayers by the leader of the kompang. Photo taking session next before making our way to Azim side around 3pm.

Azim side was grand with lots of people! Cik Jumat did the silat before our bersanding begin. As usual, photo taking with his relatives, colleagues, friends & etc. We made our way up to change for our evening wear. I super love the third outfit because it was glam! Had photo taking again before we eat and trust me that was my breakfast, lunch & dinner! I was waiting all day long to eat. We were requested by Azim side to sing a song, Dua Insan. Actually, I was really reluctant to sing because there were so many people looking at us & waiting to video us, singing. But I had no choice then. I was actually eager to go back to my side because I want to see some of my friends & relatives.

True enough, I was so happy to see my babes Jaz, Dinah, Eqin & Ira! The 4 most precious babes in the world. We even had a candid shot where they threw roses to us and it was captured by my photographer. It was so pretty! The newly weds had dinner first and after that cutting of the wedding cake which Azim & I gave personally to every one who was at the reception during that time. It was nearly 8pm and the reception was ending soon. We changed back to our normal clothes and went down to linger with my side.

From the bottom of my heart, I would like to thank you for those who come all the way to my wedding. Thank you a lot cause each of your presence liven my wedding day. Thank you so much!

A big thank you to my wedding supplier:

Farah Diana Catering Services (http://fdcs.multiply.com/) – Food & drinks, dais & fully deco, tables & chairs, prayer & toilet corner, cooking tent, kitchen equipments, door gifts for adults & child, kendarat, dish washers, tukang masak. All in one whole package!
Wah Entertainment Services – Shaboy, you really rocks! For your information, Shaboy is the younger brother of DJ KC(Misteri Jam 12)
My Little Cuppies (http://pannacotta.multiply.com/) – The beautiful pink & black cupcakes was delicious. Thanks Kak Ros although it was such a last minute order to your house.
Shariman (my cousin) from Reenz bridal (http://reenzbridal.multiply.com/) – For sponsoring the guestbook, solemnization corner & bunga rampai. Also, for doing the decoration for dowry gifts, car and the wedding room. You are such a genius!
Reenz from Reenz Bridal (http://reenzbridal.multiply.com/) – Your make-up skills is simply excellent! I love the make-up & also the outfits.
Encik (Azim’s warrant officer) – For sponsoring the kompang for both side. Really appreciate it a lot.
Say Guan Transport – For the rental of the bus going to and fro from Jurong to Woodlands.Abg Adi – You’re such a funny photographer who knows to liven the ceremony. The wedding photos are beautiful!
Ema Creations – Our wedding card is simple yet nice.

Without these beloved people, my wedding won’t be happen:
Mama & Ayah – Thank you so much for giving me your blessing in this marriage. You sacrifice a lot and try to make my wedding goes smoothly.
My brother, Afandi – For taking care of the dais & deco under the blk on Thursday & Friday night and because of that, you overslept for my solemnization.
My sister, Rashidah – For helping me with this and that when I was wearing henna all night long. Not to forget, the spring cleaning of the house. I can see your future already. LOL!

To those whom I did not mention, a BIG thank you to each of one you who did help with my wedding. I really appreciate it a lot.

To my one & only husband whom I truly love from the bottom of my heart, Muhammad Azim Bin Alias:

In these 4 years of our relationship, time shows how much effort you put in. How we can be so mad with each other but end up hugging the next minute, how you would give in even though it was my fault, how we could never go to sleep w/o the chats, how you stood by me when I was going through a rough day and it seems that, we needed each other more than anything else. I don't know, all I know was we are really happy together. But relationships were never smooth sailing. We've had our fair share of downs too. Our different views on certain issues, it can be quite a chore at times but we pulled through it all. Things have been really bad, all the exs, workload, heated argument, cheating, but now, you play an important role in my life, providing my heart with all it needs, making day’s superfly. What a twist, really. I guess, things have been really beautiful and I hope it stays this way forever and more.

Now, a new chapter of our life begins as husband and wife. People talked about us as we are married at a young age. But, we can prove them wrong. We can’t shut their mouth from talking. We have a lot of things to be learned. Marriage isn’t an easy task. Hopefully, we can pull through any obstacle that comes between us. Muhammad Azim, you're one of the few secret comforts that keep me sane :) May our marriage last till eternity, Insya Allah. I love you.

So there you go! My wedding update is finally done! :)

To those taggers who asked me the budget for my wedding, pls email me at nadirah-@hotmail.com personally as I do not disclose information here. People might think I’m bragging but trust me, I spend wisely for it.

2009-02-25T00:11:00.003+08:00

I just got back from my in-laws place. Still tired though from all the visiting. I'm still smiling to myself, thinking back of my wedding on 21 Feb 09. Oh my, it was sure fun to be Raja Sehari. No worries, a real proper update soon with lots of my wedding pictures. Stay tune!

2009-02-18T22:19:00.003+08:00

Just THREE more days to greeting hello to being married and bidding goodbye to singlehood. I can’t believe that our 4 years of boyfriend & girlfriend relationship will be ended up with marriage.

Things are not really on our side in the first place. Bf right now is admitted to hospital due to rashes & fever. So, I’m praying that he will recover fast and be discharged by tomorrow. Just yesterday morning, the ROM called saying that our Tok Kadi is being admitted to hospital and there will be a replacement with other Tok Kadi. God is really testing us. I just hope that everything will go smoothly our big day, 21 Feb 09. Insya allah.

So how’s my preparation? Last minute hiccups here & there but we managed to pull it through. Alhamdullilah. There’s still last minutes of things need to be done ASAP such as spring cleaning the house thoroughly. Meaning, wipe off the dust, wash the old curtain & hang up the new ones, ransack every cabinet and arrange every single items properly, sweep & mop the floor, put on new bedsheets, clean all the fans, paint the wall & etc. TSK! Starting from tomorrow as I’ve taken leave, I’ll be a busy woman. Not to mention, running errands. This is a good practice I must say. LOL!

As usual, proper update soon with lots and lots of pictures before and after marriage. The preparation, the fitting session, the shopping done & etc. So behold with massive pictures after my wedding.

Friends, my solemnization will take place at my house, 11am. Bersanding will be under my void deck, probably around 1pm. Don’t worry for those who can’t come in the afternoon as I’ll be back to my place around 5pm for dinner. So, See you girls & guys this Saturday! :)

2009-02-04T12:07:00.000+08:00

Weekend swooshed by just like that cause every weekend I will go out to buy some stuffs, discussion & payment with suppliers. My wedding is just around the corner, you see. A lot of preparation needs to be done. Weekend always melts down really fast whereas the weekdays are really tough because of waking up early morning & cramping with other passengers inside the mrt.
Tons of pictures to be upload but the comp at home broke down. Yeah, what a time to broke down now.

Perhaps I can only show you outdated pictures after my wedding, if the comp has been fix. So, won’t be updating that much for now.

I’m just counting down till 21 Feb 09 to be legally Mrs. Azim, Insya Allah.

2009-02-03T12:47:00.004+08:00

I'm back to public. So hello mum, finally you can read my blog. :p

Dinner & Dance on 06 Feb 09, Fri.

My wedding, 21 Feb 09, Sat.

D&D preparation are done!

I'm left with my wedding is which in 2 weeks time! 85% of it has been done!

People who have been invited, do come yeah. :)

Can't blog that much as I'm at work.

2009-01-23T17:11:00.000+08:00

I’m in holiday mood already. 24 January – 28 January, office are closed. Best!
But not that best when mostly the shops are closed.

I’m too stressed with my wedding preparation and as a result, pimples are popping one by one! Not only stress, PMS is coming soon too. I know my body cycle. It’s a sign that period is coming (Too much information here. LOL!) It’s better to have it soon rather on my wedding day. Troublesome. I hate seeing my face right now. Ewwww! I must go for the facial that Nura recommend me. It’s a must.

Alhamdullilah, everthing is settled. Thank god for hearing my prayer.

P/S: Comp at home broke down. Meaning, not much update for now.

2009-01-21T12:07:00.004+08:00

I wish I could express my emotions out, openly. Due to circumstances, I can't.
It’s just that I wanted badly to give up & run away from my problem.
The problem just keep pouring in, and pouring in, and pouring in. It's suffocating me.
I’ve tried my best to solve it but it seems to be no solution.
I'm alone, I'm solitary, I have so many things that I need to solve but I don't know how and I don't know who to even turn to anymore.
Nobody will know and understand what I’m going through at this moment.
People may say this & that, but they are not in my shoes. The burden is on me.
Behind my smile & laughter, a wave of sadness is engulfing me.
Life hasn't been treating me too well and I don't want to think about anything already.
I'm disappointed with everything, I don't want to expect anything anymore.

It's funny how life works around you sometimes. Every time you go through something, whether it's a trivial dilemma or life-threatening crisis, you learn something. It's just a matter of whether you realise it or not, and whether you put it to good use in the future. I don't know how I've changed because of what happened recently, but I do know that I've done quite a few uncharacteristic things of late. The usual Irah wouldn't have showed and tell her feelings, but surprisingly, I actually did admit that I regret with what I’ve done. On top of that, I usually wouldn't even try to talk things out. A lot of things were just different this time, somehow.

I make mistakes because I’m instilled with infinite imperfections. Nobody is perfect in this world. I learnt from the mistakes that I’ve done. So unless you're god, just keep your cynical comments to yourself. Quit bringing people down already. It’s not a free world; you pay for what you do. Heard of Karma? What goes around, comes around. Move on, grow up, and get over it. Everything happened for a reason. Life is short. Fuck the past, kiss the future.

Moving on, this coming holiday is a chance for me to literally sleep the night away till next morning and then next week going to be a day full of havoc again with nothing else, my wedding preparation. (But I like it. I love being busy and so caught up). I just want to head to my bed, snuggle into the blanket, squished up against my pillow and Winnie the Pooh bolster (LOL!) and I fall asleep and wake up the next day feeling satisfied. But I think I wouldn't be that satisfied because I seriously lack of sleep. My dark ring circle is becoming worse.

Just yesterday, I accompanied bf for his follow up at TTSH from 7pm right after work till 3am. Had only 4 hours of sleep before waking up at 7am for work. By the time I reached home, I was like a zombie. I’m DEAD tired because of the depriving of sleep last night. YAWNZ!

2009-01-16T11:58:00.000+08:00

As far as I am concerned, I haven't been blogging lately and there's a jolly good number of posts with photos in them waiting to be uploaded, but they're saved as draft for the meantime as I'm not done yet.

Last Friday, My baby had been safely buried. I do not have the chance to visit since I’m not yet ‘clean’ on that day. I definitely want to visit my baby before my wedding. Azim surprised me with my favourite hazelnut macaroon from bakerzin. It’s very rare of him to do that because he’s the type who won’t show his romantic side by buying me stuffs. So, I was quite taken aback when he did that. My doctor appointment went well. The gynae did a vaginal examination on me for the last time to make sure that everything is ok and she recommend me to try getting pregnant again. Of course it’s a NO for me! Well, not now at the moment. Azim & I need to have a stable financial then we can start thinking of starting a family.

We booked Ong Bak 2 at causeway point right after my check-up and seriously it’s not my type of movie because I prefer romance or chick flicks types of movie. But the movie was not that bad except for the ending which is quite a disappointment. We window shop for our drowy gifts exchange. Since my pay is in, I will be doing the shopping soon. Bought my wedding heels (super gorgeous with a touch of bling!) which is affordable. On weekend, head over to my uncle’s house with my mum & sis. Main reason is to have a discussion with my cousin, Razak, who is a wedding planner. I’m glad that he can work things out within my budget. Basically, he’s the important person on my wedding day since he’s the one who will do almost everything. A well spend weekend indeed.

I took urgent leave on 14/01/09 as Azim was warded due to kidney stone. Thank god the kidney stone is still small and does not need to be operated. Oral medications were given to him and hopefully to make it gone. His parents left by the time I reached so I stayed all afternoon with him till the doctor told that he can be discharged. I insisted to send him home after that but being stubborn, he want to walk around novena mall. All we did was window shopping, survey the price here and there. I only managed to grab a few tops for me and him from cotton on. That was it. The rest of my pay is for my wedding. We had late dinner at our favourite food stall at far east plaza before bidding goodbye.

15/01/09, headed to Queensway to check out sneakers for Azim. Most probably will be getting him the Lacoste sneaker which is not that overpriced compared to the other Lacoste sneaker we surveyed at Far East Plaza. He slept over at my house. My parents, siblings and Azim had takeaway Mcdonalds for supper. Eventually I hit my bedsheets at 12am as I was way too sleepy.
This coming weekend should be good; malay wedding exhibition at expo this Saturday & vaccination injection for my cat on Sunday. I’ll be busy starting from next week as I’ll be sourcing & preparing for my big day. It’s been confirmed by my parents that it will be held at my house. It will not be held under the blk, like other typical malay wedding. L Well, I don’t mind at all as long everything goes well on that day. So, invitation of guests will be limited. Only close relatives, colleagues, friends will be invited. I’m lack of sleep for the past few days and Nura recommended me to go for facial a week before my big day. Definitely will give it a try.
D&D is on 06 Feb and I have not got a dress for that night. Actually, I might just wear the dress that I ordered online few months back but does not have the chance to wear it yet. Just need to alter it, buy earrings & that’s it. Really on tight budget this month.

So many things to do but so little time left.

2009-01-11T12:14:00.003+08:00

1. Whats is your full name? - Nadirah Bte Sudin.

2. Do you like ur name?- Not so.

3. How long have you like the person you currently like?- It's love.

4. Have you kissed anyone before?- Yes.

5. Did you cry today?- No.

6. What are you doing at 8am this morning?- Still sleeping.

7. What are you doing an hour ago?- Online shopping.

8. What are you currently doing?- Doing this questionaire and thinking of my up coming wedding.

9. Who last texted you a message?- Azim.

10. Have you told anyone you love them today?- Every single day.

11. Are you missing anyone right now?- Azim.

12. Any plans for tomorrow?- Work.

13. What was the reason behind the last time you cried?- Regarding my up coming wedding.

14. Anyone you want to be right now?- Azim.

15. Have you kissed anybody who name start wit 'S'?- Can't recall.

16. Name somebody who makes you smile today & how?- Kecik, my cat.

17. Name somebody name who start with 'Z'?- None.

18. Which closefriend of you stay close with you?- Jaz & Dinah.

19. Do you prefer to call or text?- Both.

20. Do you prefer todaey or yesterday?- I look forward for every day.

21. Can you live a day w/o television & handphones?- Can't.

22. Are you mad bout anything right now?- Yes!

23. Do you ever think that relationship are worth it?- Yes.

24. Who was the last person you visited in a hospital?- Shahmi's brother.

25. Who was your second last & last hug from?- Azim.

26. What does your last msg in youur phone say?- U?

27. Define life- Life is full of challenges.

28. Do you hate anybody?- Nope.

29. Who was the last person you called?- Azim.

30. Who usually send you the most text in the month?- Azim.

Those pple i wish to tag- Anybody.

99 Facts About Me

FIRST THINGS FIRST

1.Full Name: Nadirah Bte Sudin.

2.Nicknames: Irah.

3.Age: Going to be 21.

4.Gender: Female.

5.Where do You Live: Taman Jurong.

6.Relationship status: Attached.

7.Siblings: Afandi & Rashidah.

8.Pets: Kecik.

9.Screen name: Irah or xoxo,irah.

APPEARANCE

11.Hair Color: Black.

12.Hair length: Shoulder.

13.Eye Color: Black.

14.Height: 155cm.

15.Piercings: 2

16.Tattoos: None.

17.Shoe Size: 7-8, depends on the cutting.

18.Jeans Size: 24, depends on the cutting.

19.Make-Up: Make-up base, concealer, foundation, powder, Eyebrow liner, lip balm, lipstick, lipgloss, blusher, eyeliner, mascara & etc if I'm really in a mood to doll up. If not, I can go out without make-up.

20.Dye Your Hair: Used to. Now, no.

MY FAVORITES

21.Food: Anything as long halal.

22.Drink: None in particular.

23.Color: Pink, Black, White.

24.Store: None in particular.

26.Kind Of Alcohol: I don't drink.

27.Ice Cream Flavor: Raspberry, chocolate chip, chocolate & B&J new york super fudge chunk.

28.Book: None in particular.

29.Season: I love winter. But too Singapore don't.

30.Video Game: I don't play video games.

HAVE YOU EVER?

31.Smoked a cigarette: Nope.

32.Done Any Drugs: No.

33.Gotton Drunk: I don't even drink.

34.Gone Skinny Dipping: No.

35.Bonged a beer: No.

36.Had Sex: Duh?!

37.Kissed Same Sex: Nope.

38.Done Anything Sexual With Same Sex: No.

39.Eaten Sushi: Yes

40.Broken A Bone: No.

DO YOU/ARE YOU

41.Like Your Handwriting: Yes.

42.Have Any Bad Habits: Yes.

43.Hate Yourself: No.

44.Shy: Yes.

45.Tolerant Of Others: Yes.

46.Aggressive Or Passive: Both.

47.Have A Journal: Yes.

48.Emotionally Strong: Yes.

49.Read The News Paper: Sometimes.

50.Confident: Sometimes.

VIEWS AND BELIEFS

51.Is There A God: Yes.

52.Does He Have A Gender: Don't know.

53.Do Ghosts Exists: Yes.

54.What About Witches: I doubt so.

55.Miracles: Not sure.

56.What Do You Think About Abortion?: No comment.

57.Premarital Sex: No comment.

58.Life On Other Planets: No idea.

59.Porn: Yucks!

60.Cosmetic Surgery: Depend.

CAN YOU

61.Sing Well: Sing for fun.

62.Play An Instrument: Pri sch days, recorder. Lol.

63.Write Well: Not sure.

64.Skateboard: No.

65.Take A Shot Without A Chaser: No.

66.Say the Alphabet Backwards: No.

67.Snow Board: No.

68.Juggle: No.

69.Do A Split: No.

70.Draw: No.

THE FUTURE

71.Plan On Marriage: Going to.

72.Kids: 2 are enough for me.

73.And Their Names: Secret.

74.Occupation: Tai-tai. Lol.

75.Where You Want To Live: If can, I do not want to stay with the in-laws. I still prefer to live with my own family. :(

76.Big Or Small House: Both also can.

77.Do You Want To Live Near People: Yes please.

78.Long Driveway Or Short: Both will do.

79.Income: How will I know? It depends.

80.Cars: I love suzuki swift, in red please. Super hot!

THIS/THAT

81.Walmart/Target: Walmart.

82.Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate.

83.Night/Day: Night.

84.McDonalds/Burger King: Macdonalds.

85.Cats/Dogs: Cats.

86.Fruits/Veggies: Fruits.

87.Pillows/Blankets: Blankets.

88.Pepsi/Coke: Coke.

89.Alcohol/Weed: None.

90.Reading/Writing: Writing.

RANDOM

91.Biggest Fear: To lose my loved ones, out of job.

92.Compliment You Get Often: I'm lucky to be thin. No matter how much I eat, it's still the same.

93.What Would You Change About Yourself: My attitude.

94.Regrets: Sadly, yes.

95.Gotten Arrested: Nope.

96.Are You Ticklish: Yes.

97.Longest Relationship: Right now, 3 years plus.

98.How Much TV Do You Watch: Not that much compared to playing comp.

99.What color is your bedroom: Used to be pink. Exchanged room with my bro since my grandparents moved in. Now, light yellow. Yucks!

100.Are you happy: Seriously, no.

I TAG

1. Anyone.

2009-01-08T22:31:00.003+08:00

Ok great. I was forced being interview for the malay tv programme, M.A.T while I was walking back home from work at jurong east. Despite telling them that I don't really know what MAT is (which is actually a lie!), they followed and begged me to be interview. There's so many versions of Mat such as mat rep, mat motor, mat rock & etc. Fine, I go for it and it was nerve wrecking. 5 minutes, it's like 5 hours to me! Standing in the middle of the crowd with camera, mike, people walking passed by to take a look, reminded me when I was studying at MDIS. I remember vividly when I tried to be a news presenter in a studio. I just need to read the script being showed on the small tv. That was easy! But in this case, with no script, I was dumbfounded for few seconds.

My wedding. It's been bugging me every single minute cause I have not prepare a single thing. I did some survey for wedding packages but still it's out of my budget. It's so expensive to have a wedding under the blk. It even lead to argument with Azim cause I actually want to postpone our wedding date. But when I think back, I'm not being fair with him as his parents have started preparing for it. 6 more weeks and I feel that I do not have enought time to prepare! The printing of cards, pelamin & deco, catering, make-up artist, dowry gifts, berkat & every single thing. I even list down the budget and details. I'm just hoping that tomorrow will be a good news for me. If everything is ok, it can be done. No money = nothing can be done. With the bonus around the corner (hopefully), I can use it to buy for his dowry gift, re-pair the aircon at my parent's room (where the solemnisation will take place) & every small details need to be done straight away. No shopping for me this month. :(

Tomorrow will be a busy day for me & Azim. He took leave to collect our baby's featus at NUH in the morning and to be bury it at jalan bahar. I want to tag along with him but I'm not 'clean' yet and I can't step into a cemetery. That means, I can't see my featus being buried. :( He will settle that in the morning while I will meet my mum to run errand at jurong point in the afternoon since I'm on half day leave. Right after that, it will be my check-up at NUH. If Azim can settle everything before afternoon, he can at least accompany for my check-up. If not, I have to go alone which I totally hate it.

Till now, whenever I see any baby, it will get reminded me of the past. I'm still not over it yet.

2009-01-05T11:59:00.010+08:00

I've been browsing magazines, surfing the net, calling some sources just to find ideas for my wedding. There's alot to prepare from the dais & deco, dowry gifts, catering, wedding clothes, henna, bedsheets & every single things have to be in detail cause I'm a freak. Meaning, I planned with my mum that I want a specific colour theme and everything have to be in the same colour. I already have in my mind on how I really want it to be turn out. I won't type in here cause it won't be a surprise in that way.

Even for the make-up package, it cost $1300+! Expensive but their end product is so pretty. Don't believe me? Take a look.

Super gorgeous!

As for the deco, I love to be surrounded with flowers. Pretty little flowers.

I have a rough idea on the drowy gifts to be given to the guy's side. At least, my aunt is willingly to help me out on this.

The cakes & cupcakes are too pretty to be eat!

The henna is beautifully drawn.

All this can be done if there's only enough cash on me. How I wish I'm a rich girl and everything can be settle fast.

2009-01-05T09:27:00.005+08:00

Nobody will know what I've gone through for the past few days. I tried to be strong but at some point of my life, I feel weak and broke into tears when I think of my baby. Azim were always be there for me, to wipe my tears, hugged me and gave me words of encouragement. Be it anytime and anywhere. I feel bless to have him. Not only him, my parents too are the pillar of my strength although I did the biggest mistake by getting pregnant before marriage. They have the right to be angry and dissapointed with me but still at the end of the day, they are the one who never fail to be there for me. Same goes to my future in-laws. I believe that everything happened for a reason.

I'm going back to work tomorrow although my hospitalisation leave ends on 08-01-09, Thursday. My colleague even sms me that I have ton of work to be clear. Being busy will make me focus more on work than be thinking about the negative. That will make me good. Mum is still worried for me as she kept saying that being miscarriage is the same as giving birth. She kept reminding me to wear jacket in the office, drink lots of warm water, no eating of 'sharp' fruits such as pineapple & etc. At home, she really take good care of me. She's such a strict mum but it's for my own good anyway.

On the other note, the in-laws are busy preparing for our big day. But for my side, not even started a single thing. All because we are short of cash. I do not want to talk about this cause my parents & me have been arguing about this matter. I even forked out 4k for it but still it's not enough. I leave it to them to decide lah! Fed-up! Actually my parents & me taught to postpone our date so that we still have enough time to find cash and prepare for our wedding but since the in-laws forbid, we left with no choice then. I have the feeling that my side will be busy preparing at the very last minute. It's my wedding, but I have no urge to prepare for it. Sigh.

2009-01-03T11:12:00.004+08:00

I'm still upset & weak with the miscarriage. I don't know how to move on with life. Everything seems so different. This song really reflect on my feelings at the moment.

Only the photo of you left behind, my baby. :(

2009-01-02T21:28:00.005+08:00

01/01/09, the first day of 2009. The day that people had enjoyed themselves from the countdown. But not for me. On thursday morning, 01/01/09, I felt an abdominal cramp and bleeding was quite heavy. I thought it was normal as I had bleeding for the past few days. Not until the cramp worsen later in the afternoon, around 4pm. More blood clot seems to pass out. I tried to bare with cramp by lying on my bed all day long.

At night, around 9pm, I felt a big blood clot passed out. I knew something was not right cause the cramp was so painful. Take a look and it was white clot, a size of strawberry together with blood. I was worried cause I have never seen such a big clot before. I was not satisfied. Take a close look and I saw the shape of a foetus! I saw the shape of my baby's head, body parts and the clear part is the eyes. I broke down in tears infront of my mum when I showed it to her. I knew it was my foetus covered with water bag that had become a jelly. I put my foetus inside a container to show it to the gynae in the hospital. I kept holding it close to me all the way to the hospital.

Mum & me reached NUH around 11pm and I waited till 4am to be warded in. In between, I was bleeding alot. Not more than 30 mins, my pad was soaked. A gynae put a spectrum inside my vagina and alot of blood clot came out. I was given a drip to be warded. My dad & mum consoled me. I cried. I was alone. Azim was not with me as he can't book out from his guard duty. At that point of time, I felt I was going insane to see my foetus taken away for examination.

Friday morning, 02/01/09, Azim came and I hugged him, crying like a small kid. He was with me all day long. In the afternoon, my drip was taken out. I had to go for vaginal ultrascan to make sure that everything had been passed out from my womb. Thank god that I did not have to be 'wash' as the gynae confirmed that I'm ok and can be discharged later on. My dad picked us up. I was given hospitalisation leave till 08/01/09 to recover and a follow up on 09/01/09. I can collect my foetus on the day of my follow up, hopefully. My parents want to bury it. I'm not so sure about this matter. I leave it to my parents and in-laws to decide.

Thanks to Dinah, Jaz, Farah, Eqin & Shahmi for visiting me. :)

As for now, I'm still feeling fatigue, restless, period cramp, headache. I kept telling myself to be strong and everything happened for a reason. 2 months 3 days, the duration the baby managed to be alive. I have to stay strong although I'm still sad by the sudden miscarriage.

I still remember walking passed by the nursery, looking at those cute babies. I cried as I think of my miscarriage. Kept looking at my baby's ultrascan pictures. I actually can't wait to feel it to kick my tummy, feel the movement, growing bigger each day, experience giving birth to my own baby but now, nothing. :(

2009-01-01T12:16:00.004+08:00

Bleeding during pregnancy: Why it happens, what to do

Vaginal bleeding during pregnancy has many causes. Some are serious, and some aren't. Know when to contact your health care provider. Vaginal bleeding during pregnancy can be scary. It's not always a sign of trouble, however. In fact, most women who experience vaginal bleeding during pregnancy — particularly during the first trimester — go on to deliver healthy babies. By understanding the most common causes of vaginal bleeding during pregnancy, you'll know what to look for and when to contact your health care provider.

Bleeding during the first trimester
Many women experience light vaginal bleeding during the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. Possible causes of vaginal bleeding during early pregnancy include:

Implantation. You may notice a small amount of vaginal bleeding very early in pregnancy, about 10 to 14 days after fertilization. This "implantation bleeding" happens when the fertilized egg attaches to the lining of your uterus. It's usually earlier, spottier and lighter in color than a normal menstrual period, and it doesn't last long. Some women mistake this light bleeding for a period and don't realize they're pregnant.
Cervical changes. When you're pregnant, more blood flows to your cervix. You may experience harmless vaginal bleeding after contact to your cervix, such as after sex or a pelvic exam.
Miscarriage. Up to 15 percent of known pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. Vaginal bleeding is the primary sign of miscarriage. But bleeding doesn't necessarily mean you're having a miscarriage. Remember, most women who experience vaginal bleeding during pregnancy go on to deliver healthy babies.
Ectopic pregnancy. Sometimes an embryo implants somewhere outside the uterus, usually in a fallopian tube. This is known as an ectopic pregnancy. An embryo implanted outside the uterus can't survive. And without treatment, life-threatening blood loss is possible. In addition to vaginal bleeding, an ectopic pregnancy may cause abdominal or pelvic pain.
Molar pregnancy. Rarely, an abnormal mass — instead of a baby — forms inside the uterus after fertilization. Vaginal bleeding is the most common sign of a molar pregnancy. Infection. Some cervical infections cause bleeding in early pregnancy.

When to contact your health care provider:

During the first trimester, if you have slight vaginal bleeding that goes away within a day, tell your health care provider at your next visit. If you have any vaginal bleeding that lasts more than a day, contact your health care provider within the next 24 hours. Contact him or her immediately if you:

Experience moderate to heavy vaginal bleeding
Experience any amount of vaginal bleeding accompanied by abdominal pain, cramping, fever or chills
Pass tissue from your vagina

Source taken from : http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/bleeding-during-pregnancy/PR00087

I'm scared after reading all that information. I've experience the above three. Sigh. God, please protect my baby. The baby is the most important in my life right now.

2009-01-01T11:22:00.005+08:00

Yesterday night Azim planned to have dinner at Boon Lay for their Nasi Lemak Power. We took 240 bus as usual and damn it, there was a road block and we had to walked a distance to go the food market. Before that, I need to withdraw cash and the queue was freaking long. I can see from Azim's face that he looks pissed off already. So, I planned to go Taman Jurong Shopping Centre then since Boon Lay was so crowded. We walked into a baby's shop to look around for baby's crib. He was being reluctant to survey and was busy sms-ing. That's when the argument started till it dragged to Taman Jurong Shopping Centre. We parted ways while on the way back home. I was fed-up with him and off my handphone. In the end, he came to look for me around the neighbourhood blk. We talked things out and everything was back to normal.

Not until, I felt that I was bleeding again. It was true. My gynae told me that if the bleeding still occur, I have to be brought to hospital so we cabbed to NUH. Shortly after that, my mum arrived with her colleague. I was given a vaginal check. The cervix was closed. Had an ultrascan, the waterbag & baby can be seen but the heart beat can't be detect. I was worried. I do not want anything to happened to my baby. But the gynae assured me that the baby is fine. I was given MC from 31/12/08 - 06/01/08 since I need sufficient rest but I will still go to work tomorrow cause I've taken a lot of MC. My mum's colleague drove us back home.

So from now onwards, my checkup will be at NUH. No more seeing my gynae at the private clinic. Next appointment will be on 06/01/09. Guess, I have to take leave again. Right now, I'm still bleeding. Still wearing pads, just like normal period. I don't know what's up with my body. Even my gynae told that my baby is still alive inside my tummy. Deep down inside my heart, I'm worried for my baby. I do not want anything to happen to it. Sigh. I'm going to google for this and find an answer to it.

2008-12-31T12:46:00.007+08:00

Alhamdulillah. Everything goes smoothly at ROM yesterday. Both fathers as our guardian, me & Azim had to take oath infront of the Kadi. 21 February will be the big day. My uncle(my witness) drove my parents back to their work after that. While me followed the in-laws to Causeway Point to survey for our marriage dowry gifts. In fact, the in-laws had already bought the baby pram, pillows & baby car seater. All the baby stuffs are at Azim's room.

My future in-laws family all in blue without Azim & his dad.

Today was supposed to be at work but I was having diarrhoea from 12 midnight till 9 this morning. In between, I had only few hours of sleep since I spent most of the time in the toilet. Dragged myself to see the doctor without Azim since he's still at camp. I'm waiting for Azim to come over to discuss about our wedding. Too much things to do but so little time. This weekend probably will be heading to his house to clean his room and give the room a new coat of paint.

While everybody is out partying for the New Year, me & Azim will just countdown together at my home since he's having his guard duty tomorrow. Bummer! So I guess I will rest at home tomorrow. This is our first time we did not celebrate countdown. 2009, I hope it will be a blissful year for us.

Not to forget, Happy 3 years & 9 months anniversary to us. 310305, that special day that will always be remembered. 2 more months and it will be official. 210208 will be the big day but 310305, is the day we got attached. I love you, Muhammad Azim.

2008-12-29T20:59:00.009+08:00

Finally, I'm able to blog in peace. I really do not have any idea how to start my post. Well, everything was in mess since 28 November. My mind was in turmoil since that night when I saw a positive sign on the pregnancy kit. My mind kept telling me to abort it but I just can't bare to kill my baby. Bf was against it. Bf & me had no idea how to break the news to our parents till one week later, I called up his mum. His mum was shocked and told his dad few days later. Only his parents knew about my condition. I do not have the heart to tell my parents about this. All I told them was that Bf's parents invite them to their house for some discussion regarding us.

Bf called my mum when she was already under his blk & told them about my pregnancy. That was when my dad called me. I vividly remembered every of his sentence that break my heart listening to his angry voice. Those harsh and painful words were hard for me to swollow. "Kenape kau malukan ayah?! Kau pergi terjun dan mati lagi bagus!". Those lines were being repeated for that 5 minutes conversation. I felt depressed, sad, angry to myself. I was so clueless. I sat outside the staircase crying, non-stop.

As for what happened at bf's house, his uncles & aunt & grandmum was there too. I was told by mum that bf was beaten by his dad. His aunt & uncles tried to stop his dad when he went berserk. During that week, I felt so distance from my parents. I was stress. Every single minute when I think of this, I cried to myself. I lost weight and I do not have the appetite to eat.

I have my first check-up and was accompanied with bf's mum, bf & his sister. I was broke that time and bf's parents borrowed money from his relatives just for my sake. My parents? They do not even care for me. Deep down inside my heart, I know they are still dissapointed with me. I had my ultra scan and I saw my baby moves. It was still 1 month. Although the picture of the ultra scan was not clearly seen, I know that my baby is alive.

On 14 Dec, Sunday, I was bleeding. It's just like normal period. I was worried for my baby's safety. I cried to my mum and sis. My mum called my dad who was at work. I thought they are not worried for me. But I was wrong. My dad came all the way from work just to bring me to hospital but my mum don't agree cause she do not want the hospital to have my record yet. I thought I had a miscarriage. I cried when I called bf & his mum. My parents really thought I had a miscarriage. The next day, 15 Dec, bf's mum & bf accompanied me to see our gynae at a private clinic. Mind you, every single check-up cost his parents $150-$200. So that was my second check-up. The baby heart was beating. I thank god when I heard that good news from my gynae. The picture of my baby from the ultra-scan can be seen already. 1 month 2 weeks, my foetus age. As to stop the bleeding, I had an injection on my back side. I was given 3 days mc from 22-24 Dec. I actually took leave on 24 Dec for my councelling. The pain can be felt few hours later that I had difficulty in walking. I limped when I need to walk. I told myself to be strong for my baby. The pain eventually when away 2 days later.

On 24 December, both our parents and us need to attend councelling at PPIS. We need to go through this councelling and marriage course as we are under 21 years old. The councelling was good. One by one of us were interviewed by her. I told my counceller, Fadilah, everything. I cried when I told about my feelings. Bf's families went off first after they had finished. Bf waited for me outside when my parents, me & Fadilah was inside a room. I told my parents about I felt all this while. That was the very first time I saw my dad, who never shed a single tears in my 20 years of life, cried because of me. I could not hold back my tears when he cried telling me how dissapointed he was with me. My parents actually plan to hold a grand wedding for me & bf in 2010 as I'm their first daughter. But everthing now been shattered. He even cried that he loves me the most among his 3 children. He actually want me to stay at our house right after our marriage cause he knew that I do not know how to cook and always wake up late during weekend. He did want me to feel miserable staying with the in-laws but there's no room for me as I'm sharing it with my sister and grandparents. He even fork out thousands for my private diploma in MDIS. All because my parents have very high hopes for me. I told them my ambition, what I want to achieve and just because I'm getting married, it will not be achieved.

After that councelling ended, I felt so much better. My parents are back to normal with me. Bf's dad fork out the money for our marriage course that will be on march for 8 weeks. It's not only that, each one of our parents need to attend it too. We will then only get our original marriage cert once we had finished the course. Just yesterday, 29 Dec, his parents and aunt & uncle, came to merisik. 21st February is what bf's dad suggested for our wedding. I will be staying with the in-laws since bf have a room by himself. Bf's mum want to take care our baby since she is full-time housewife. I'm glad that my in-laws spare a thought for me. Tomorrow, both families and us will be going to ROM.

And oh, I forgot to mention that I actually told my manager regarding my situation when we when out for christmas shopping. She's the most understanding manager ever. :)

To you readers who have access to read my blog, please don't misuse the trust that I have given you. When the time is right, it will be open to public when everything is settle. Insya-allah. May god bless me, my baby, bf, my family & bf's family.

Today, as on 29 Dec, my baby is 2 months already. I'm too lost for words. I must be strong to overcome everything. Insya-allah.

2008-12-28T20:55:00.003+08:00

Just three more days to greeting hello to 2009 and bidding goodbye to 2008, I can't hardly believe it's the end of the year already. As cliche as it is, I'm gonna blog quite a long entry about anything to everything just as many other people would every time of the ending year I'm sitting here and thinking.

What does life hold for us? How can you sit and wait for something to happen when you know what might happen to you later on is usually, and always, the course of your actions? Growing up itself, it is becoming such a daunting task. Something I sometime look forward to. And yet other times, I wish I never had to grow up and face everything else. I can't wait for the day to call an apartment my own. Yet, I never want that day where I come home to an empty house with no mother to get me to eat or no sister to disturb me or no Kecik to greet me at the door.

When a day goes by, do you look back on the things you have done? The people you've touched or the special deeds you went out of your way to make someone else feel good about him/herself? Do you think back on that single minute you wasted laughing at someone else? Maybe you decide to make a change in your life for once? But that change never benefits anyone else but you, does it? Honestly, I don't want to grow up. I want to live my life sitting in Starbucks for 5 hours with awesome friends who will laugh at every thing we say. And then I want to top it off with a session of chiling and doing nothing. Forever.

Then maybe suddenly, you decide to do something you've never done before. You think that you're finally growing up and that you deserve a chance at impetuosity. Do you ever realise the implications of your hastiness? In that short space of time, how many hearts will be broken and how many things will get even more complicated? You don't, because you think you're older and wiser and that you have to accomplish things you'll never think about when you're 25.

I've been really puzzled and confused lately. What am I? Where am I going? What have I been doing? Has anything been worth my time and effort? Why do we do so much to please the people around us? Do we live just to please them? Or do you live just for yourself and what you can achieve? Even though we try so hard to do things for ourselves, we always just base it on what society thinks is right, or what he/she would really like. We never really do things for ourselves most of the time. Honestly speaking, I can be a hypocrite. I preach to others about how "I don't really care what people think" or "They're not feeding me, so why should I care?" and all that shit. Ok yeah, I don't, most of the time, but someway or another, I stop short of being really "myself" because I end up feeling worried about others being critical of me. I think about the consequences of my actions. I keep feeling so bothered about what people think of me, and I get too affected by it? What if I'm not what they thought I was after all? What if I'm really just a waste of your time or effort? We just blind ourselves from what we really want because, really, want are just not right or important. But anything you really really want, is always just not good for you, after all. But sometimes I wish for someone to look objectively at my life and tell me what's wrong and what I should or should not do. Pure objectivity doesn't exist though. But now, as I’m typing this, I realize that whatever happened for a reason. I shall embrace myself with my marriage next year, Insya allah.

I love my family. Thank you mama & ayah for everything. You’re the reason that makes me stronger as each day pass by. 2009, may I have a blissful life ahead.

P/S: Private entries next.

2008-12-22T21:16:00.004+08:00

I will privatise my blog soon. For those who want to be invite, please leave your e-mail address on my tagboard. BUT only certain readers whom I feel comfortable & trust with will be invite.

2008-12-15T23:01:00.002+08:00

My life has been pretty much on a low lately. My days have been hectic, and quite problematic since Sunday but it is starting to look better now as I can partially see what's the deal and how to go about dealing it right. It's tough. My heart feels heavy like some sort of an unfinish problem that need to be deal with sooner than anything else. They're just mountains waiting to be conquered. I've always been on the verge of tears every time something, whether trivial or not, aggravates me. Maybe it's because I've been getting a lot of unnecessary shit from a lot of people lately. I've been thinking of running away from it, even allowed my mind to run wild on thoughts of _____________ but I can't bare to do it.

Mama, I'm so sorry for everything. Yes, I'm a bad daughter. I've let you and ayah down. You have high hopes for me as I'm the first child. I'm dissapointed in myself too. I cried to myself every single time I think of this. Your harsh words are too pain to be swallow. I always tried to be the best I can. But eventually, I fall. The only thing I need is the support and encouragement from the both of you. That's all. I totall understand your feelings and how worried you are. Insya allah, when everyhing is done, I will pick up the shattered pieces and build it strong once more. Mama and ayah punya doa restu, is all I need. Ampun dan maaf, Nadirah.

2008-12-11T20:14:00.049+08:00

Let’s backtrack for the past week.

28 November, Friday
TGIF! Bf and I went town, planned to karaoke but it was cancel due to some unforeseen circumstances that happened to me. Up till now, it has not been solved yet. The main reason I asked bf to town was to eat at Cahaya since I was craving badly for their mee goreng basah and char kway dipped with mayonnaise. Oh my, I’m salivating thinking of it right now. But to my disappointment, it was packed with people so we roamed around Far East Plaza, finding a place to eat. We managed to settle at this Surabaya stall since it was not crowded. The food we ordered look not that appetizing when it arrived but once we taste, it was good, delicious, sweet, and spicy! Cause the sambal kankong was hot & spicy, we ordered 3 cups of drinks! Basically, I bought my necessities at Far East Plaza before heading to Takashimaya for Toys Sale. I bought Winnie the Pooh Bolster and it had been with me all night long when I’m sleeping. I was still disturbed by the sudden news and was moody that night. We grab a bite at cine and make way home since I’m working the next day.

29 November, Saturday
I forced myself to wake up for work although I was still sleepy due to few hours of sleep. Met my sister after work and she accompanied me to Jurong East Library since I need to borrow books urgently. I treated her lunch before going back home while she met up with her friends. I slept in the afternoon till 10pm when mum woke me up to accompany her to have Boon Lay Nasi Lemak. By the time we got there, the queue was long and I loathe long queue so me & mum ate mutton chop and ice-kacang instead.

30 November, Sunday
Woke up to bf’s call to pick him up at his camp. He need to collect his 11B nearby KKH. Basically we had no plan so I suggested him to have breakfast at Causeway point instead since it’s nearby his house. Anyway, he need to clean up his bag full with his soiled clothes. That night too he has to book in, so as usual he will drop by my house first.

05 December, Friday
This time round I really want to eat at Cahaya no matter what. The craving is so bad! But it was still crowded with people. We ate at the Surabaya food stall again. Silly me, I cried cause I can’t fulfill my craving. Met up with Eqin & Ira since there are at Town too. They shopped, I window-shopped. Reason being, I need to save badly.

06 December, Saturday
Bf and I accompanied my mum to her workplace for her thumb print scan. Our stomach was growling and bf suggested simpang bedok. I admit that was my first time eating at simpang bedok. Look at the food we ordered. It looks like 4-5 pax but there are only 3 of us! In the end, we did not even finish up the food. Headed to Funan to collect our free video camera courtesy of Starhub. At that point, my leg was aching already. Too tired from all of the walking. We managed to sit down, enjoyed our drinks and cake at Starbucks. As usual, green tea frappe with extra whipped cream for me. That was the first time bf taste it and he has been hooked eversince. My sis and her friend joined us in a while. That mum of mine can’t keep still. She even suggested to go dad’s food stall to pack food for dinner & also of buying groceries. Whenever my mum is buying groceries at Sheng Siong, I can just take whatever junk food, dump it inside the trolley and mum pays for it. As simple as that!

So that’s my weekend update. Don’t bother about weekdays because I’ll be working or even so after work, I will spend time with the bf if he have nights out. That’s my usual routine. My eyes are droopy already and I need to have my sweet dreams.

07 & 08 December, Sunday & Monday
Both days are stay home for me. Monday was the best cause I spent my time recuperating by sleeping all day long.

Oh my god! I took nearly 2 hours just to post up everything!

2008-12-07T14:14:00.004+08:00

Proper update soon, loves!

2008-12-02T12:40:00.004+08:00

From the bottom of my heart,

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Even countless of apologies, I know it still breaks your heart.

I know there's no turning back but still I have to move on with life.

2008-11-30T23:15:00.003+08:00

I'm feeling troubled.

It doesn't feel right.

I wish I could express my thoughts and feeling out, openly. Due to circumstances, I can't.

P/S: Thanks nanachica. Thank you very much. I really appreciate your every single advice.

2008-11-28T12:26:00.006+08:00

What's up with virginity issue on my tagboard? Well, I'm so lazy to argue back to those moron. Diss me all you want cause I don't owe each one of you a living. Thank you. :D

Finally, I have the time to update. I went for training yesterday at Keppel Bay Tower and right after it ended, I dropped by Vivo City with my sister in search of a dress for my D&D. We searched from MNG, F21, Tophop, Warehouse, River Island & etc but still I can't find something decent to wear. Meaning, no sleeves, bareback, low cut for the dress. That's the rule from the bf. Personally, I fell in love with some of River Island's dress cause it was so gorgeous & pretty! It was miserable for my feet cause I wore heels. Poor thing! So today, I shall search again for dress at Town with the bf later on. And no heels but flats. What's more, it's pay day! I'll be going for some shopping & karaoke-ing too. Sales are everywhere and feels so tempted to shop! I just bought two tops online. Best! Just can't wait to knock off from work and shop, shop, shop, shop! And spending time with the bf, of course!

2008-11-23T14:55:00.004+08:00

I love you, not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.

With our favourite baby boy, Danish.

Two souls with but a single thought, two hearts that beat as one.

A day out with my love never fails to tug on my heartstrings...

Reply to tags:

Sasa: Babe! I got new VS :) hee.. how much you got that black one deary?

Irah: That pink & biege vs kan you post at your blog? Lawa! I got it mine at $75.

Berry: ey how come i tag nvr kluar one ah! EH FINALLY I CAN TAG! AHAHAHA

Irah: Suker kau eh tag! Taglah selalu. Aku selalu baca tapi take ages to reply.

Nana chica: (:

Irah: Nana, sms when you got back your hp tau.

Daya: yalaaa..boring right. aku pon kalau boleh nk meet hari2. hahah! anw update blog slalu la! boring sey kat keje tkde benda nk bace.

Irah: Aku malas nak type kadang-kadang. Tu sebab aku upload jer pics.

Fuzy: HELOOO HELOOO Irah! keke. Hw r you? Da lame tk singgah di sini. But, im here!! Keke. Pretty Irah, i loikee!

Irah: I'm doing good babe! Ceh, you going to be an actress seh. All the best k!

Qysha: kt kedai Accessories ade! i pernah nmpk!

Irah: Is it? Ok, I will check it out. Thanks!

Smy: at haji lane!

Irah: Which part? Name of the shop?

ira: my school party shop ada lah

Irah: Aku buy dress first then aku drop by sana ok. Kau teman aku tau.

Taro: irah.ask azim to call me.meet me up.long time never catch up.814*****.

Irah: Ok!

Nameless: you look like a barbie doll wearing red top. you can find it @ far east plaza. I saw it .

Irah: I'm not perfect, nameless. Far east plaza, what is the name of the shop?

Berry : mask? at haji lane. or some lane daerah sana. ada costume shop. best! ada banyak! go go go!

Irah: The name of the shop? Kau nak aku cari satu haji lane per?

Sharlize Brook : heyy babe come on here, ***y-couture.livejournal.com/

Irah: I also got order black bomber jacket before tau.

Qysha: get well soon babe! :)

Irah: I'm getting better. Thank you sweets.

lalala : u could be pregnant? be careful.. u could be went to pangkeng rite wit azim recently...ishk..

Irah: I'm not pregnant FYI. Pangkeng? MF only lah you~

jaz: take good care of yourself babe! try eating something sweet? like chocolate?

Irah: I always eat something sweet, but still the same.

Daya : azim, stop eh kau. mushy giler or what?? aku pon tk seterok gitu.hahaha.. jgn marah. joke2 je eh. LOL.

Irah: LOL. Dia memang gitu lah Daya. Mat jiwang.

someone: maybe u could be preggy or suffering from low blood pressure.

Irah: I'm not pregnant and yes I'm suffering from low blood pressure.

* : cld be u need glasses..go check it out

Irah: I heard about it too when someone is always dizzy, might need glasses.

Berry: ey kucing kau buat aerobic kape! HAAHAH! comel sia! anws, jaga diri baik2, kau tu da lah halussss gitu! ahaha eat moreeee!!

Irah: Cute kan! Dia tengah nak tido lar! Hahahaha! Aerobic kaper? Aku makan banyak tapi the same. Alar, kau pun ape kurangnya dengan aku? Kurus jugak. LOL.

I know, I know. I will take ages to reply to tags. But I will still reply to your tags, don't worry. Weekend seem to be very fast and it's back to mundane monday. Boring seh! I'm waiting for bf to come here and watch vcds together that we bought recently. Toodles!

2008-11-20T12:04:00.009+08:00

I've been tagged by Daya. Terima kasih banyak-banyak kerana sudi tag yer. I'm like so bored right now.

1. Each player of this game starts off with 10 weird things/habits/little known facts about yourself.
2. People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own 10 weird things/habits/little known facts as well as state this rule clearly.
3. At the end, you need to choose 10 people to be tagged and list their names.
4. No tags back! Here is 10 things you must know about yours truly.
Here goes!

1) I'm so used of having muhammad azim to be with me all the times. I feel insecure without him.

2) When I was in secondary school, my close friend consist of Jaz (Chinese) & Dinah (Indian). People kept calling us 'racial harmony' cause the three of us are always seen together.

3) I was afraid of cat last time. Whenever I see a cat a few meter away from me, I can scream and run away from it. But not now since my brother brought back a very small cute kitten home and now it become our pet, Kecik.

4) I may have a stuck-up face but trust me, I'm friendly. To those who I just get to know, I need to warm-up first before I can celoteh banyak-banyak!

5) I love dessert than main course. Especially chocolate!

6) My dream was to be an air-stewardess when I was younger. But now, fat hope! Bf does not even allow me to go for it! And also, a fashion editor/fashion stylist... Anything to do with fashion lah!

7) I can sit for hours infront of the computer, by just surfing the net & listening to music. I love online shopping too!

8) I'm not a big fan of playing games like psp, wii, nintendo. I prefer to play online games.

9) I love reading hollywood's tabloids, gossips & etc.

10) I'm afraid of sickness and always think of dying.

Alright! I'm done! To those taggers saying that I'm pregnant, I'm NOT! I maybe suffering from low blood pressure. I still remember few months ago, I fainted inside MRT cause of the giddyness. What's more I'm just recovering from fever and diarrhoea. Maybe sekarang musim demam arh.

I receieved good news from bf just a while ago saying that he already changed his guard duty with someone else for this saturday. That means, he's all mine from friday till sunday! Best kaper! Aku rindu giler kat dia!

2008-11-18T12:09:00.000+08:00

For the upcoming and next Saturdays, the bf will be doing guard duty and that means I’m going to stay home on Saturdays. How boring can that be?! But it’s just the right time to catch up on my sleep. I’m still not yet fully recovered from the headache and bodyache. Something seems to be wrong with my body. Right now as I’m typing this, I see blurry vision on the computer screen. I have to strained my eyes to make the blurry vision went off. I lost appetite to eat and always feel like vomiting. I’m afraid to go for a thorough check-up. What if the doctor gives me a bad news? I always think negative instead of positive. I’m seriously in no mood to work cause of the headache that is killing me right now. I cried on the phone, telling bf about my condition. Help. :(

2008-11-16T17:42:00.002+08:00

Hello world. Yours truly is down with stomach flu today. Yours truly had diarrhoea on saturday from 10pm till 2am. Imagine how many rounds of toilet trip yours truly had went through. Because of that, yours truly was down with fever. Yours truly had difficulty breathing and kept tossing around on the bed just to sleep. Yours truly's bf was sweet enough to send her go doctor this morning depsite him finished his 12 hours guard duty. Yours truly's bf bought hot chng teng to bring down her fever. Yours truly's bf will be coming in a while to meet before he book in later at night. Now, yours truly is still having the headache and bodyache despite the few hours of sleep. Yours truly did not get a mc for tomorrow.... How cruel the doctor can be. Whatever eh, yours truly going to sleep again now.

2008-11-15T18:24:00.014+08:00

Picture galore! Proper update soon cause I'm having a terrible headache. Need to have a sufficient rest.

2008-11-14T12:11:00.001+08:00

As far as I am concerned, I haven't been blogging lately and there are a jolly good number of posts with photos in them waiting to be uploaded. That shall be update in my next entry, probably in the weekend. I feel like I've lost my passion for blogging man, sheesh. No hold on, passion is a too strong vocab to describe! I mean I do love writing but yeah, sometimes I get kind of lazy to blog. Feels so good to be back typing away.

It’s my turn to work on Saturday. I always dreaded to work on Saturday. Half of my weekend is gone. I was craving for bone steak (tulang) and kept asking the bf to eat with me this weekend but mum bought it yesterday night. It’s finger licking good! So, no more craving for the bone steak. It will be Arnold or Popeye this weekend, hopefully if the bf can exchange his guard duty with someone else. I loathe the management at his camp because he can’t book out every single day like before. It will be night out either Tuesday or Thursday. He must be back at certain time. If not, confinement for him. Benci sekali.

Online shopping can cause serious damage to one's bank account. So I think I shall close the other browser windows before I click my way to bankruptcy. But I really like the top, the bags, and the make-up. Everything looks so pretty & nice. I can’t really spend that much cause I’m saving up my ass off for something. But it’s so tempting to shop.

I was reading the latest issue of CLEO magazine and I have a rough idea on what to wear for my D&D; The make-up, the manicure & pedicure, the dress, the mask, the heel, the handbag. Best or what?! It will be held at Grand Copthorne Hotel, just nearby Zouk. If the bf permits, then we can go Zouk together. But I know the bf won’t even go. The pre-event will be air brush tattoo. I think I may want to do a pretty butterfly on my leg? My hand? Or even better on my back shoulder? Oh my, sounds so exciting. I’m so looking forward for 2009.

I just hope this Saturday I can go out with the bf and window shop for my dress & mask. I need time to browse through the shops. *cross finger*

2008-11-13T12:20:00.003+08:00

Any idea where to find masquerade mask? I need it for Dinner & Dance.
Your suggestions are greatly appreciated. Thank you.

2008-11-10T19:44:00.004+08:00

Something to share with you readers that I got from my e-mail.

You know when people said that usually after your menses when a guy 'shoot' inside there will be nothing wrong. Wrong conclusion, babe.

Cervical mucus changes consistency during the menstrual cycle and plays a vital role in fertilization of the egg. Present in the days preceding ovulation, fertile cervical mucus aids in drawing sperm up and to the fallopian tubes where fertilization usually takes place. It also helps maintain the survival of sperm inside the woman's body.

In a "typical" cycle, after 5 days of menstruation there are 3-4 "dry" days, then wetness begins with sticky, cloudy, whitish, or yellowish secretions. The wetness increases to the wettest day when mucus is quite distinctive: abundant, clear, very slippery and very stretchy (like egg whites). Ovulation occurs sometime in the 2 days before or up to 2 days after the peak day of stretchy fertile mucus.

To read more pls visit, http://www.fwhc.org/birth-control/fam.htm

Siap dengan link sekali I've provided.

2008-11-03T22:47:00.007+08:00

041108 marks your 19th birthday! Happy Birthday my love!
It is not being in love that makes me happy but it is being in love with YOU that makes me happy. With each year I'll love you more. Remember that your best years are still ahead of you and I'll be there for every up down and in between. Although today is the very first time we did not get to celebrate your birthday together, I hope you will be having a rocking celebration this Friday. See you soon, my dear. Happy 19th Birthday, Muhammad Azim!

Much love on your birthday and always,
Irah

2008-11-02T11:26:00.004+08:00

My Friday night & Saturday was spent with Shahmi and Ira. Sadly, Eqin did not joined us on both days. Friday night was slacking outside macdonalds, jurong east entertainment. We bought food at nearby pasar malam and just slack till 9 plus and off home since Bf was nagging non-stop. Did you know that jurong east entertainment is closed for renovation, I think. No more late night talks at there. Moving on, saturday was out to Town with them again after much persuasion I asked from the bf. The initial agenda was to buy birthday gift for the bf but I really have no idea on what to buy. I bought almost all the stuffs for him. Handphone, psp, mp3, clothes, shoes, bag, wallet, perfume, cap. & etc. So it was a tough decision but we still managed to grab something. Oh well, I ended the night by leaving town early to meet my mum & sis at jurong point to have dinner before making way for grocery shopping.

To bf, I'm so hurt by your sarcastic remark yesterday night. It really shows that you don't appreciate and like it. I cried myself to sleep whenever I have an argument with you. It's very difficult to talk things out with you. Whatever it is, I just can't wait to meet you.

I'm hungry. Gonna eat some chips and take a nap for a while to ease my mind.

2008-11-01T00:59:00.003+08:00

How I wish I can pen down all my feelings & thoughts right now.

But not all I can blog through here. Well......

I'm feeling so sad, down, emotional, dissapointed.

I'm so not looking forward for anything.

And the reason is, you, Muhammad Azim.

Such a luck it happened on our anniversary date.

I'm tired of all this. Enough said.

2008-10-30T23:30:00.002+08:00

Happy 43 months anniversary to us...

How I wish you are right here beside me, giving me a kiss on our anniversary. I'm waiting patiently for you to come back into my arms once again. I miss you and will always love you.

Love can make you do things that you never thought possible...

2008-10-28T23:01:00.005+08:00

Deepavali holiday was spent over at my cousin’s house for the last day celebrating eid mubarak. My nephew & niece grown up so fast and they called me bibik. Age is catching up on me fast gituk. One by one of my cousins are all married with kids already. I don’t mind being married at a young age but then must be financially stable, have a commitment & have a sense of responsibility. That’s the most important thing for me. How to get married if both of the parties do not have savings? Marriage uses lots of money. Let’s just say it can cost around $20k! The problem won’t end there. If we are going to buy a house, we need money for the renovation, buying of household items, paying for our own bills & etc. If we want to start a family soon, it will be tough if we do not have money to bring up the child. Get what I mean? Perkahwinan memerlukan banyak duit sekali. So for the moment, work, save like crazy & enjoy life to the fullest.

I met babes Eqin & Ira yesterday night, chilling under my blk. Have a bitch talk & it was literally fun. Just hanging out and talking nonsense. So Saturday will be out to Town with Ira. I’m looking forward for the weekend, preparation for his birthday. 7 December, will you come soon? IMY, Muhammad Azim. I just can't wait for you to come back into my arms.

2008-10-25T16:24:00.003+08:00

Jaz : i think azim looks good in specs. hee. miss ya babe!! take care!

Irah : Yup, I think so too. Maybe because he's botak. Suits with the specs. Miss ya too babe! I've called Dinah for the next meet up but she have night shift for the next few weeks. Don't know when can meet up.

-=-valentina-=- : dear i've change my link,relink me aitez.

Irah: Re-link done!

smallboy : irah i love u so much just missing u syg..u just like apart of ma life...ns is ***up...i hate ns...i really...love u...u jangan naughty2..i pinch u very hard then u know...love u syg i gtg got some works to do lup u muacks!muacks!big hug!!!grr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!syg u irah

Irah : I'm missing you too b. 2 weeks is very long seh. Can't wait for you too book out. Love you dear.

Qysha : auww.. the latest entry soo sweet!

Irah : Sweetkan... Rindu kepada sang kekasih I. :)

nanachca : hello, thanks for dropping by. what is that you need to ask me eh? is it personal? heh, if it is then probably you can find me at friendster. (:

Irah : Message you already. Do reply.

Dinah : HIIIIIII BEB

Irah : Hi babe! Miss hanging out with you. Meet up soon.

Qysha : elo babe! haha! tnx for the info.. anw my bf was alrdy been 'found' sun nite..

Irah : Thank god! I wanted to sms you right away but I then I don't have your number. Hehe.

eka : i've moved babe. relinked. ((:

Irah : Re-link done!

Shasha : Irah darling~ I was sitting at the fountain, near taka. BEBE seh budak tu. You know, I know k... Inside joke.

Irah : Hot kan tu BEBE! Takleh angkat!

Betty : babe, i saw u ytd at far east with ur bf..tkcr! =)

Irah : Hello babe. Which betty are you? If can next time tegur k. Thanks for dropping by sweets.

Tags been reply. I'm so mendak now. I'm trying to refrain myself from online shopping. I've been bloghopping, friendster-ing, listening to songs but still boring. I've not eaten anything from just now. I feel so bloated. Eqin & Ira asked me along to city hall later but then the bf don't allow. Boring seh. So I got no plan till monday. Mendak kaper?! Nvm, I can have my rest at home.

2008-10-24T21:32:00.002+08:00

Muhammad Azim,

The first time we met, I knew I had a friend.

The thing I did not know is that I would want to love you until the very end.
Your precious love has turned my life completely around.

I feel like I'm walking, but my feet don't seem to touch the ground.

Sometimes you seem to be my shinning light guiding me through the long, dark night.

As I lie alone in bed thinking of you and I wonder if you think of me too.

I wish I were there with you, kissing your sweet lips under the pale moon light, and holding you, so very tight.

You really are the man of my dream and I can't wait to be with you, for the rest of my life.

I know our time away seems like an eternity, but I'll wait forever to be in your life.

I love you, I need you, I want you, and I will for all my life.

2008-10-23T21:34:00.011+08:00

Us at Naughty Girl.

Around my house area at 2am.

Towning.

I was just trying on his spec.

Brothers.

My Kecik sleeping. Cute kan?!

Look how tired I was at work on the next day after clubbing all night.

Shopping.

Kecik lepak.

Camwhore.

Full moon.

That day when he decided to be botak.

I lost to him in the game.

Upload all of the picstures already! I'm turning in soon. My eyelids are getting heavier and can fall asleep anytime from now. I'm too tired and my back hurts alot. Surprisingly, the menstrual panadol really works. Going to call the bf and have our usual night talk before we sleep. Goodnight!

2008-10-23T12:39:00.001+08:00

I’m turning into a very lazy blogger. I’m trying my best to recall on last week event. If I can remember, me & the bf went town for the last 2 week. We always ate at Cahaya whenever we are at Town before doing some shopping. Cotton On has really nice fitted cardigan. Their sleepwears are so comfy to wear. The bf tricked me saying he wanted to meet his friends at Orchard Tower but it was at Naughty Girl instead. Eventually some guys smile and flirt, right infront of bf’s eyes, making him pissed. I mean it’s standard if we are at a club. Served him right for tricking me in the first place. I’m going to hit Town again next week for gift hunting and mini shopping but without the bf. Bf can’t book out till 5th November and 4th November is his birthday. I’m left with no choice but to celebrate his belated birthday on the 6th. So I still got time to hunt for his birthday gift. Any idea what to buy for a guy? I have no idea what to buy for him as I’ve already bought for him tops, shoes, slipper, cap, pants, watch, wallet & etc. Thought of bringing him for sky ride but he hates the sun. But I’ve an idea on where to bring him and the gift I shall buy. I’m going to do manicure and threading too. Next week will definitely be busy week for me. Anybody want to tag along with me to do some shopping together? I shall upload lots of pictures when I get back home. Perut aku tengah cramp giler nie. I’m off to rest for a while then. Macam nak balik & tido gituk.

What is the gender of my baby?
	It's a girl!
	It's a boy!

pollcode.com free polls