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Thursday, January 08, 2009

Ok great. I was forced being interview for the malay tv programme, M.A.T while I was walking back home from work at jurong east. Despite telling them that I don't really know what MAT is (which is actually a lie!), they followed and begged me to be interview. There's so many versions of Mat such as mat rep, mat motor, mat rock & etc. Fine, I go for it and it was nerve wrecking. 5 minutes, it's like 5 hours to me! Standing in the middle of the crowd with camera, mike, people walking passed by to take a look, reminded me when I was studying at MDIS. I remember vividly when I tried to be a news presenter in a studio. I just need to read the script being showed on the small tv. That was easy! But in this case, with no script, I was dumbfounded for few seconds.

My wedding. It's been bugging me every single minute cause I have not prepare a single thing. I did some survey for wedding packages but still it's out of my budget. It's so expensive to have a wedding under the blk. It even lead to argument with Azim cause I actually want to postpone our wedding date. But when I think back, I'm not being fair with him as his parents have started preparing for it. 6 more weeks and I feel that I do not have enought time to prepare! The printing of cards, pelamin & deco, catering, make-up artist, dowry gifts, berkat & every single thing. I even list down the budget and details. I'm just hoping that tomorrow will be a good news for me. If everything is ok, it can be done. No money = nothing can be done. With the bonus around the corner (hopefully), I can use it to buy for his dowry gift, re-pair the aircon at my parent's room (where the solemnisation will take place) & every small details need to be done straight away. No shopping for me this month. :(

Tomorrow will be a busy day for me & Azim. He took leave to collect our baby's featus at NUH in the morning and to be bury it at jalan bahar. I want to tag along with him but I'm not 'clean' yet and I can't step into a cemetery. That means, I can't see my featus being buried. :( He will settle that in the morning while I will meet my mum to run errand at jurong point in the afternoon since I'm on half day leave. Right after that, it will be my check-up at NUH. If Azim can settle everything before afternoon, he can at least accompany for my check-up. If not, I have to go alone which I totally hate it.

Till now, whenever I see any baby, it will get reminded me of the past. I'm still not over it yet.

10:31 PM

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bittersweet angel of love
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