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Monday, January 05, 2009

Nobody will know what I've gone through for the past few days. I tried to be strong but at some point of my life, I feel weak and broke into tears when I think of my baby. Azim were always be there for me, to wipe my tears, hugged me and gave me words of encouragement. Be it anytime and anywhere. I feel bless to have him. Not only him, my parents too are the pillar of my strength although I did the biggest mistake by getting pregnant before marriage. They have the right to be angry and dissapointed with me but still at the end of the day, they are the one who never fail to be there for me. Same goes to my future in-laws. I believe that everything happened for a reason.

I'm going back to work tomorrow although my hospitalisation leave ends on 08-01-09, Thursday. My colleague even sms me that I have ton of work to be clear. Being busy will make me focus more on work than be thinking about the negative. That will make me good. Mum is still worried for me as she kept saying that being miscarriage is the same as giving birth. She kept reminding me to wear jacket in the office, drink lots of warm water, no eating of 'sharp' fruits such as pineapple & etc. At home, she really take good care of me. She's such a strict mum but it's for my own good anyway.

On the other note, the in-laws are busy preparing for our big day. But for my side, not even started a single thing. All because we are short of cash. I do not want to talk about this cause my parents & me have been arguing about this matter. I even forked out 4k for it but still it's not enough. I leave it to them to decide lah! Fed-up! Actually my parents & me taught to postpone our date so that we still have enough time to find cash and prepare for our wedding but since the in-laws forbid, we left with no choice then. I have the feeling that my side will be busy preparing at the very last minute. It's my wedding, but I have no urge to prepare for it. Sigh.

9:27 AM

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Spasmodically Beautiful
bittersweet angel of love
if you sweet-talk her like sugar,
she'll hug you till death do we part.
but if you wrong her for a silly reason,
she'll spite with her sarcasm
but LOVE her. she's the one & only, Irah!

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My only weakness is you.
Only reason is you.
Every minute with you.
You're my everything.

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This little tiny baby
Was sent from God above.
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And touch our lives with love.
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And always do our best.
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