Sunday, December 09, 2007
Saturday was spent with mum, sis & mum's colleague. Grocery shopping, where I just put lots of goodies & toiletries into the trolley. It was quite fun actually. Dinner at Ayer Rajah Food Centre, west coast. It was just a plain day.
It's back to slogging for the weekdays just so the weekends could be enjoyable. I stayed home today. Life can be really boring at times. I worry too much, I think too much. I feel awful for making people around feeling foul because of me. On a totally separate issue, becoming dependent on another person is one of the worst things anyone could ever do.
It's funny how life works around you sometimes. Every time you go through something, whether it's a trivial dilemma or life-threatening crisis, you learn something. It's just a matter of whether you realise it or not, and whether you put it to good use in the future. I don't know how I've changed because of what happened recently, but I do know that I've done quite a few uncharacteristic things of late. The usual Irah wouldn't have showed her feelings, but surprise surprise, I actually did admit that I was sad and lonely when I was trying to talk things out. On top of that, I usually wouldn't even try to talk things out. A lot of things were just different this time, somehow.
I've so much more to say but the words just aren't flowing like they should. One day, maybe one day, after I've gotten rid of the perpetual mental block. I've been wanting to update but I really don't know what to say or how to express myself anymore. Let's just say things have changed somewhat and I'm trying to resist it. But I can't control anything or anyone. All I can do is try to make things right. I miss the bliss of being blasé. It's fucking frustrating know that I'm somehow the root of it all. Someone make this end.